My daughter Casile refuses to allow me to put clothes on Sophia. “She has to be naked!” she exclaims. Deep down I agree.

Even though Sophia has experienced victimization to the extreme, she has made an important decision: she’s not going to see herself as a victim, but as a conqueror.

Some people complain that I enjoy criticizing the church and religion for sport. They claim that I am stuck in my victimization, nursing my wounds and swimming in bitterness and resentment.

I disagree. True, I have experienced being a victim. Sure, I have been wounded. Indeed, I have harboured bitterness and resentment, even anger. I won’t deny that. I am human and will feel these things.

But don’t mistake my going back into the game as bitter cowardice. Instead, why not look at it as me challenging that which nearly destroyed me? Why not see all this, like Sophia, as facing danger, taking on the beast, and maybe even attempting to tame it? Why not consider that I love this and care enough about it that I want to engage it in transformative ways?

I’m not saying the church is a man-eating shark. But it certainly does behave like one sometimes. It also doesn’t mean that it eats every person. But it certainly has eaten some. It is dangerous. This must be addressed.

I would like to conquer this.

Who’s with me?

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provision

The story of the ravens providing for Elijah has always fascinated me. The story, like any other good myth, is rich with layers of meaning. That’s why I drew this image of Sophia in the wilderness.

Sophia fled into the wilderness with nothing, only to discover that provision comes by strange and unexpected means.

Before I left the ministry a couple of years ago, I thought I was quite alive and open. Looking back now, I see how enclosed I was. I was, like Sophia, trapped and didn’t even really know it. Until I finally saw my predicament and escaped. All my provisions, before that time, were to come through certain traditional means. Now that I have broken free, I have learned that my provision comes from all kinds of directions that I could never have predicted.

Here are a few:

1. the warm love of new friends. These friends have nothing to do with the church. But they are deeply spiritual. Our conversations always turn vital, enriching our lives. This love also includes the beauty and affection of my students…amazing young men and women who come from all over the world… people who I enjoy being with and who enjoy being with me. They are teaching me that love is everywhere. Oh, the wonder!
2. a delicious little book given to me by a woman I met while I was at a speaking event in Dallas, TX, last year… the book is by Rachel Naomi Remen called “My Grandfather’s Blessings“… this little provision has gently broken and softened my heart. I can’t read a page without tears. Get a copy!
3. Lisa… after 32 years of being together our marriage has been taken to a whole new level… something I didn’t expect but which we are so thankful for. Oh my God! You think you should know a person you’ve been married to for so long! But all we’ve been through has shattered us and broken us through another layer. I’m discovering that the depths of Lisa and our relationship are fathomless. It’s like we are falling in love all over again. What a sweet surprise!

I am thankful for these simple provisions. Things I didn’t expect. Complete surprises. But I receive them gratefully.

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