Thinking about leaving your religion? Questions are the answer.

When I was considering leaving the ministry and the church, I felt incredibly guilty. You probably feel guilty just reading this, am I right? Put down the hot cup of guilt for a minute and hear me out. I’ve been there, done that, got the T-shirt (literally). 

Questions are natural. They will arise in the mind. Sure, there is one part of the mind, the fearful part, that wants to conform, fall in line, obey, and not stand out. However, there is another part of us, the wise part, that hungers for truth. 

Most of us are afraid to question our religion. Because our belief system is often something we grew up with rather than something we chose, we feel as though we cannot or shouldn’t disagree with it. It feels like we’re being traitors to our church, our family, our community, who we are. 

The thought of questioning your religion is not one that comes suddenly, or at least it wasn’t for me. It started with a few nagging questions or uneasy feelings that I pushed down and put a lid on. The fuller the “question jar” got, the harder it became to close the lid on my doubts. Then, one day,  the jar became so jammed with questions that it burst open. They exploded, bred, and demanded answers. 

The thing is, these questions... such as the existence of Hell or even God... were life and death questions. They literally kept me awake at night. 

Finally, after a long journey and countless questions, peace of mind came and it's never left. I'm so grateful. It was such a relief to finally be honest with myself about what I really believe to be true versus what I’d been told to believe. I felt so light and free.

Contrary to what a lot of religious leaders tell you, questioning your faith is natural and healthy. Whether you are thinking of leaving your religion or just delving deeper, questions help you grow. Questions lead to wisdom and fresh perspectives. 

Questioning what we believe allows us to step back and look at the bigger picture. If we choose to stick with what we believe in, then at least we know our belief is genuine and not from a place of fear. If we change our mind, at least we are being authentic and truthful with ourselves. There can be no personal peace without personal truth.

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I've come to believe that the only way to get to the truth is through questions. Knowledge can be gained by increments. Like stairs. Wisdom is gained by a series of deaths and resurrections. Like seeds bursting open to bear fruit. Dare to question. Even the hard ones. This is wisdom.

Got more questions? 

One of my books, Questions Are The Answer, is a brutally honest confession of my life, and my struggle with theology and the church. If you've been questioning your beliefs, thinking of leaving your religion, or even struggling with the church or ministry, then this book might help you. I truly hope it does.