How are Deconstruction and Bull Riding the Same?

"Bull Riding Deconstruction" cartoon by nakedpastor David Hayward
“Bull Riding Deconstruction” cartoon by nakedpastor David Hayward

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“How are Deconstruction and Bull Riding the Same?”

Well, deconstruction can be punishing. But it lasts longer than 8 seconds.

There are, in my opinion, two levels of spiritual deconstruction: theological and ecclesiological… that is, we change our beliefs, and we change our relationship to the church.

For most of us, both of these transitions are extremely difficult.

Theological deconstruction can be full of mental anguish. Mine was. Then, in 2009, I finally found the peace of mind I always sought. And it’s remained!

Then, leaving the church can be painful. In 2010, I left the ministry and the church. I also left the context where my friends and social life existed almost in their entirety. I also left my vocation, income, and sense of purpose.

Now, 7 years later, I can safely say I made it. I’m feeling really good inside and out.

How did I get here?

The number one reason is I had people to talk with, one-on-one. I hired a coach! She is awesome, and really helped me become whole again. Talking with her on the phone once a week made all the difference in the world.

I put the money down and got what I paid for: my health! I would do it all over again! (Wait… I am already! I always use a coach and always will.)

I’ve “coached” people my whole adult life… as a pastor and now as a spiritual coach. You can read some testimonials HERE.

Years ago I heard a pastor I admire say that a pastor’s job is to help people transition from point A to point B. I knew when he said it that that’s exactly what I wanted to do. I love helping people through their spiritual transitions.

Deconstruction to me is spiritual progress. It’s spiritual evolution. Yes, it hurts… like growing pains! But it’s oh so worth it!

Thousands of people see my cartoons and posts every day. Anyone can enjoy these. Hundreds are in my online community The Lasting Supper where they get extra resources, support, and interaction with me and other members of the community. Members pay a small monthly subscription. These, to me, are my way of helping as many people as I can through some of the most traumatic periods of their spiritual formation.

But nothing is more powerful, effective, or fast… as one-on-one coaching. Which is why I’ve been providing it.

I compare it to when I was in the ministry. People could come to the church services and enjoy what everyone else enjoyed. Then there were smaller groups where you could ramp up your spiritual life and involvement. Then, there were a few people who met with me one-on-one to really work through issues and be more intentional about their spiritual formation.

Look… when we deconstruct, we are free to go through it at our own pace. We can take years if we want. Or, if we want to speed up the process and find relief, talking with someone one-on-one helps get it done. I know! I give it and I’ve used it. It works! It’s worked for me, and I watch it work for others.

If you want to talk with me one-on-one, I give a free “discovery call”. This is a call where we actually talk about what you’re going through. I coach you, and promise to give 100%. It also helps us decide if we can indeed work together.

Whatever you do, don’t go it alone. I mean, you can if you want to. Some people do and some of those people make it. At least find a group that gets you. But I always recommend… ALWAYS!… that you find someone you can process your transition with. I did and I still do!

Email me if you’d like to chat.

Much love!

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2 Replies to “How are Deconstruction and Bull Riding the Same?”

  1. That’s great for you that you have had the experience of coaching that has benefitted you and are now doing that for others. I seem to remember reading something about comforting others through having received comfort.

    I would say for me to “deconstruct”, thinking about it is not a once in a lifetime thing but as long as I am imperfect will be an ongoing process of deconstruction and reconstruction which can feel like going through a death at times to then be renewed into a greater experience of life. And having “faith” (for want of a better word) in the process.

    I find too that having gone through this for myself and been supported, the process then both frees me and enables me to be of support to others which although I don’t do professionally can be a counselling / coaching approach.

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