The Edge of the Field is the Edge of the Forest

"Edge of Field and Forest" painting by nakedpastor David Hayward

“Edge of Field and Forest” painting by nakedpastor David Hayward

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I often find myself in the margins. Somewhere between clarity and darkness. Somewhere between the wide open and the narrow paths. Somewhere between the field and the forest.

What I’m talking about is my spiritual life.

I’ve never really felt like I belonged anywhere. To some I’m a believer. To others I’m not. To some I’m in. To others I’m out. To some I’m a part of the family. To others I’m other.

It would feel disingenuous of me to agree to conform to one or the other. It would mean sacrificing my integrity, my honesty with myself, my conscience, to align myself with one or the other. Because to affiliate with one would mean to break from the other.

And I’m not willing to do that. In fact, I’m not able to do that because it would be dishonest.

The truth is… there is no us and them. There is no in and out. The open field and the dense forest are each an important part of the whole ecosystem.

It is not necessary for me, and I feel no pressure, to live only in the field or only in the forest.

I do both.

Because the edge of the field is the edge of the forest. They are the same thing.

And even though it baffles, perplexes, and even infuriates others, I’m okay with that.

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4 Responses

  1. Caryn LeMur says:

    I am glad you have found peace on the edge of the forest, my friend.

  2. … and the edge of the field 😉

  3. Gregory says:

    Thank you so much for expressing this so beautifully! It’s really hard to do. ( I’m amphibious, too! I think of the phenomenon you’re describing a beach where the boundary is very fluid between the “outside”, which is like being on ~land~ and the oceanic inside. Careful don’t swim too deep–or as you would say, go too deeply into the forest. Scary places there! LOL)

  4. another good analogy! thanks gregory.