"Church and State Caption This" cartoon contest by nakedpastor David Hayward

“Church and State Caption This” cartoon contest by nakedpastor David Hayward

PLEASE read this post before entering your caption! There are rules.

It’s time for another Caption This Cartoon Contest! Leave your caption in the comments.

The winner gets a fine art reproduction print of the completed cartoon, signed, sealed, and delivered to their door! A joint effort between the nakedpastor and the winner! I’ll sign it then you can sign it once you get it. Something you can hang up and brag about.


1. Leave a comment here on my blog with your caption. (ONE ENTRY ONLY PLEASE!)
2. Sign up for my emails where you get my cartoons in your inbox every day! (If you do, you also get a free e-book, Two Sizes Too Small… a book about our journey towards spiritual independence.)

I’ll post the winner this weekend with the completed cartoon with the new caption.


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59 Responses

  1. Chris says:

    Speak, or forever hold your “peace.”

  2. Chris Muse says:

    “Do you promise to love, honor, and cherish one another as long a you both shall live?”

  3. Aaron says:

    Cut the baby in half.

  4. Kate says:

    They though Sharia Law was going to be a problem? Just wait till they read Leviticus.

  5. Alex says:

    We’ve got the best alternative facts. Yuuuge alternative facts.

  6. Kate says:

    *edit – they THOUGHT Sharia Law…


  7. “This has been the best trade deal in the history of trade deals, maybe ever.”

  8. Sara-Beth Guilford says:

    “You may kiss your bride!”

  9. Deb Whetzel says:

    I can do anything I want.
    Grab it by the pew, see?

  10. Scott says:

    “You”re fired! Oh…wait…wrong ceremony. You’re married!”

  11. James says:

    I now pronounce you’re under my rule. You may grab the bride by the steeple.

  12. Jennifer says:

    The new spiritual rapist. He bleeds red white and blue!

  13. Bob Ingle says:

    Whom man has joined together…

  14. Ray says:

    Be still and Know that I’m am Don. It’s gonna be huge – trust Me.

  15. Karen Kelley says:

    There’s a teeny, weenie problem with this. But we have big plans to fix it. Very big plans.

  16. David Waters says:

    I am the Pope of Alternative Facts.

  17. David Waters says:

    I have grabbed her by the pussy and she likes it!

  18. Rich Simmons says:

    “Yeah, separation of church and state? Forget that. Do you both pledge to serve me bigly until death do you part?”

  19. Diane Wheeler says:

    *over my dead body

  20. Nerys Johnson says:

    Pantocrator my way

    (if you like the suggestion, please send the copy to the next on the list, could not bear to hang it!)

  21. John Powell says:

    I’m confused.

  22. Dan says:

    “Finally, a president who gets it!”

  23. I now pronounce you, MINE and MINE!

  24. cloud says:

    ***One nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for… me, and those who look like me. (typo on the first one)

  25. Hattie Wittenberg says:


  26. Richard says:

    It’s a Civil Union by executive action.

  27. Ruby says:

    I’m just here for the ratings.

  28. Sheepizil says:

    By the Power vested in me, I hereby Divorce you from the Bill of Rights.

  29. Ken Rosenauer says:

    Just a teensy-weensy little problem with the Constitution. Sad. Haven’t read it, but not to worry, I’m ordained now. Did that myself. The Holy High Church of Trumpianity. The best.

  30. Doug Webster says:

    “I’ve got ’em both by the balls!”

  31. Kelly Predojevic says:

    I just want to pray for Arnold.

  32. Benjamin says:

    “Pretty easy to get through the eye of a needle. SO so easy. Not a problem, needle eyes. I am VERY good at getting through them…it’s true, it’s true…”

  33. James Adams says:

    “Lemme put a pinch of each in my small hands so the world
    will THINK I am a Christian statesman. “

  34. Kristin says:

    (Not in a speech bubble) Wolves in Sheep’s Clothing

  35. G says:

    Fucking superglue gets everywhere. #Pleasedontletmewin #trumptrumpdetrumptrump #america_hahahahahahahahahaha

  36. David Aubrey says:

    I am the lord your god.You shall have no god but me.

  37. Erin Green says:

    So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what Trump has brought together let not the Constitution separate

  38. Christina says:

    Do you Sam, take Legalistic Christianity, to be your wedded husband to live together in Holy matrimony? Do you promise to love him, comfort him, honor and obey him, For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health And forsaking all others, be faithful only to him So long as you both shall live?

  39. Chris says:

    I now pronounce you mine and mine.

  40. David says:

    …One ring to rule them all and in the darkness bind them..

  41. Tamara Darbin says:

    eenie, meenie, miney…. Mine!

  42. Mike Rusch says:

    Until death do we part

  43. Nick G says:

    State, do you promise to obey church?

  44. Ellen says:

    “An unholy union”

  45. Velour says:

    The Founding Fathers were wrong about the First Amendment!

  46. Pat Pope says:

    “I shall use my tiny hands to separate church and state–bigly!”

  47. Cathryn says:

    Male-order Bride

  48. Kathy Baldock says:

    You’ve been living together for 45 years. Now, it’s time to make this a legal union.

  49. James Phillips says:

    I now pronounce you…

  50. Christina McCleary says:

    Would you could you in the house? Would you could you as a mouse? Would you could you here and there? Would you could you everywhere?

  51. Kellie says:

    I now pronounce you Trump lover 1 and Trump lover 2. You shall now kiss my tiny hands and make America Great.

  52. Linda Wallace says:

    Does anyone object to this union. Speak not and forever hold your peace.

  53. Joy says:

    I State, take you Church, to be my awfully bedded trophy strife. To grab and control, as debtor and cursed, for richer and in poor grammar, in homesickness and ill gotten wealth, until Dems us do part.

  54. Hey Erin! You won! I edited your caption suggestion down to its essential because it still conveys the meaning.

    Congratulations! I need your mailing address so I can mail you a print of the finished cartoon. Email me at haywardart at gmail dot com

  55. Jake says:

    “Here is the Church. Here is the flag. I now rule them both. I don’t mean to brag.”

  56. John roberts says:

    I now pronounce you husband and wife.

  57. Jay says:

    “Church, submit yourself to your country…”

  58. Gary says:

    Caption: “and the eagle flies with the dove, and if you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with!” Sing it with me!