Portable Toilet & Jesus Caption This Cartoon Contest

"Not On Each Other" cartoon by nakedpastor David Hayward

“Not On Each Other” cartoon by nakedpastor David Hayward

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THIS is the winning CAPTION THIS CARTOON contest entry! Thanks Dan Dickson.

It’s time for another Caption This Contest!

Provide a caption for this cartoon. I call this one “Portable Toilet”… Jesus coming out of a portable toilet and saying something to those waiting in line. So let’s come up with some imaginative and funny captions. I know you can do it.

The winner gets a fine art reproduction print of the completed cartoon, signed, sealed, and delivered to their door! A joint effort between the nakedpastor and the winner! I’ll sign it then you can sign it once you get it. Something you can hang up and brag about.


1. Leave a comment here on my blog with your caption. (ONE ENTRY ONLY PLEASE!)
2. Sign up for my emails. (If you do, you also get a free e-book, “The Stages of Deconstruction”.)

That’s it!

I’ll post the winner tomorrow morning here with the completed cartoon with the new caption.

Do I bring joy into your life? Then please help support my work. Become a patron!



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89 Responses

  1. Doug Drown says:

    Caption: “Phew! There’s a lotta theology in there!”

  2. Sean Doty says:

    Careful, I just dropped a Trump in there…

  3. Douglas says:

    You might need a nose plug to go in there.

  4. Jake Kampe says:

    “Really? Not accepting THAT fragrant aroma! Not acceptable or well-pleasing!”

  5. Haakon Folde says:

    Sorry about the wait, folks, but I am now 100% God and only 50% man

  6. Autumn says:

    You may want to wait a few. The throne room smells like death.

  7. David Waters says:

    Are you Truly prepared to “follow me?”

  8. Rich Simmons says:

    “It’s just like tithing, everyone give your 10% so it stays full.”

  9. ttm says:

    “Throne’s all yours … “

  10. Jeremy says:


  11. Sheryl says:


  12. Mark Gordon says:

    I’d give it 10 minutes, it smells like hell in there.

  13. Nancy Walter says:

    Even holy sh*t smells!

  14. Terry Heaton says:

    Blessed are the questioners, for they shall inherit the throne.

  15. Dr. Christy Sim says:

    And God said “it was good”

  16. Karen says:

    It is like someone rose from the dead in there. PHEW!!!

  17. Dan Dickinson says:

    Do your business in there – not on each other.

  18. Austin says:

    If you thought sweating blood was bad, I wouldn’t go in there…

  19. Adam Julians says:

    If anyone is to follow me, they must leave their shit behind.

  20. Aaron Clark says:

    Jesus shows the Church what they’ve created.

  21. Heather says:

    That “Last Supper” really didn’t agree with me!

  22. Gary says:

    Leave your shit behind and follow me.

  23. Ben H. says:

    Jesus: Man that was rough. Hemorrhoids…

    Guy in the middle: Should we lay hands?

  24. Alison Palmiter says:

    I feel light enough to float up to Heaven now!

  25. Nerys Johnson says:

    Sorry folks, this confessional is for the real sh**y things in life, come this way…

  26. “On second thought, you go ahead. There’s a fig tree that needs me…”

  27. Paul Clevett says:

    It wasn’t me, the Archbishop of Canterbury went in first….phew!

  28. PS Mullen says:

    Be careful – Trump is down there. I pleased with him to come out, but he refused.

  29. PS Mullen says:

    Oops – typo – meant to say,
    “Be careful – Trump is down there. I pleaded with him to come out, but he refused.”

  30. purvez says:

    “I didn’t know I had such a following!”

  31. Matt Staniz says:

    Alright: spotless AGAIN! Be back in a minute.

  32. Jabba says:

    “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross….and some air freshener wouldn’t go astray”

  33. deb says:

    Do NOT go in there!

  34. Rachel says:

    It nice and clean for u. Don’t worry about the toilet paper being red, it the best kind… It wips away everything leaving you completely clean

  35. Jordan says:

    “It may stink in there but it’s not as bad as some of the shit coming out of the mouths of some preachers.”

  36. “They’re out of paper. I had to use the U.S. constitution.”

  37. John Nichols says:

    “I think I’d give it three days…..”

  38. Arlene says:

    They tell me my shit don’t stink!

  39. Matt Reimer says:

    With all the flies in there, I believe I just found Beelzebub.

  40. Aaron says:

    Remember, nothing that comes out of a man can define him. Even that.

  41. Aaron says:


  42. kris799 says:

    “There was no toilet paper when I went in there, but there are 5 rolls now!”

  43. June says:

     “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. – Matthew 7:1 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew7:1&version=NIV

  44. Pat Pope says:

    Sorry folks, “shitter’s full!” 😀

  45. Jason says:

    Holy shit Batman

  46. Susan says:

    Where I am going you cannot follow me now, but you will follow afterward.

  47. Hannah says:

    Sorry you all, but your sh*t stinks like everyone else. Why do you carry it around?! Leave that sh*t behind!

  48. David Smith says:

    There’s a LOT of fundamentalism in there, but it wasn’t me. I didn’t do it.

  49. Alisha says:

    “There’s your next sermon”

  50. Erin Green says:

    “Wow…That manna just went right through me.”

  51. Dan says:

    “Smells to high heaven in there.”

  52. cat riches says:

    “Hey guys,,, is there anything on my robe?”

  53. BiolansEqualGround says:

    “I can’t even take a poop without you people following me around.”

  54. Helen says:

    Forrest was right! Shit happens!

  55. Kate Hammerquist says:

    Beware, it’s a Pharisee toilet. Clean on the outside, stinks like hell on the inside.

  56. Brad Titus says:

    “It feels like I was in there for 3 days.”

  57. Melody says:

    Don’t ask me to turn THAT into wine!

  58. The Ledge says:

    “As my friend Paul says, ‘Do it decently & in odour.'” (The John 3:16.)

    …or how about: “knock. And the door will be opened unto thee.”

    “Narrow is the door and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.”

  59. patti says:

    Left behind

  60. Rhonda Sayers says:

    Smells worse than Lazareth’s tomb in there.

  61. AJ says:

    Jesus and his favorite John.

  62. Jophie says:

    Son of God, Son of Man

  63. Clark says:

    And on the third day, Jesus emerged from the little boys room.

  64. “my shit does still stink”

  65. Lance says:

    The confessional is now free.

  66. Greg says:

    That wasnt a Gospel message. I dont even know what it was? But it made me sick thats for sure.

  67. Ben says:

    “Don’t eat the figs. I got a tree to go kill.”

  68. Shan says:

    You may want to wait — I just dropped 5 loaves in there.

  69. Doriene Marshall says:

    Beware! This one hasn’t been serviced since the last Grateful Dead concert!

  70. Alison Morais says:

    I’m afraid it is blocked with Christian hypocrisy

  71. Dave Jones says:

    I wouldn’t go in there for like, at least 3 days if I were you

  72. Mandy says:

    Shits about to get real.

  73. Stephanie Buker says:

    Leave all your shit and follow me.

  74. Jenny cleary says:

    Lord, have mercy on them. For they know not what’s to come.

  75. Gary says:

    Look dude, I’ve been stuck in there 3 days. Its bound to ming a bit!

  76. Andy Rayner says:

    Leave you church shit and follow me.

  77. Steve says:

    Now you can see what I turned the wine into!

  78. cloud says:

    “We’re gonna need some more toilet paper in there.”

  79. jena s lewis says:

    I knew having all that Dogma last night was a bad idea….Sorry guys.

  80. Rhonda Sayers says:


  81. Phil says:

    “Yeah right! Like yours don’t stink!?”

  82. Gillian Scott says:

    All bunged up in there.
    Follow me instead.

  83. Nick G says:

    Shit happens.

  84. Brian says:

    Dammit, Joseph! I said “best tomb” not “restroom”!

  85. Leslie says:

    I thought it was a confessional…

  86. Brent says:

    “I’ve been in tombs that smell better than that!”

  87. Brad says:

    “There’s a smell in there that’s gonna outlast religion.”

  88. Kara says:

    Holy shit!

  89. Thanks to Dan Dickson for the winning caption: “Do you business in there, not on each other!” Dan I’ll need you to email me your mailing address so I can send you a print of the finished cartoon!

    Boy this one was really difficult to judge. So many good ones! Stay tuned for next week’s contest on Friday.