Donald Trump and Jesus Christ: Caption This Contest

"Two Corinthians" cartoon by David Hayward and Jeff Cole

“Two Corinthians” cartoon by David Hayward and Jeff Cole


It’s time for another Caption This Contest!

Provide a caption for this cartoon. Oh, this is going to be good!

The winner gets a fine art reproduction print of the completed cartoon, signed, sealed, and delivered to their door! A joint effort between the nakedpastor and the winner! I’ll sign it then you can sign it once you get it. Something you can hang up and brag about.

All you need to do is 2 things!

1. Leave a comment here on my blog with your caption. (ONE ENTRY ONLY!)
2. Sign up for my emails. (If you do, you also get a free e-book, “The Stages of Deconstruction”.)

That’s it!

I’ll post the winner tomorrow morning here with the completed cartoon.

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124 Responses

  1. David Waters says:

    I’m tellin ya Jesus, I’ll make you great again! You do know I’m higher in the polls than you these days.

  2. Karen says:

    See, Jesus, that’s why I cant take in homeless Middle Eastern people.

  3. Arciemme says:

    “Donald, you know, you do have the right to remain silent…”

  4. Danny Carroll says:

    “I got this Jesus so, you’re fired!”

  5. Eileen says:

    Jesus contemplates telling his beloved “You’re fired”.

  6. Matt Oxley says:

    You know Jesus, that stuff you said in two corinthians was really smart.

  7. Lisa Dow says:

    So Jesus, since my name is on almost as many buildings as yours I was thinking we could go into business together.

  8. Casile says:

    So if I’m a “weak socialist loser” what does that make you, exactly?

  9. Kelly says:

    “Dying on a cross?,what loser move, I would have made a much better Savior.”

  10. Beth says:

    ‘Follow you? I’m really rich. I hear you people are good at counting money, though.”

  11. J. Reinsburrow says:

    “I’m going to make America great again; in fact so great they will crucify your ass. Again!!”

  12. Sarah says:

    Tell me again Jesus how the poor are important.

  13. Jason Lerato says:

    “You’re right, I need to learn humility…But I know how to make heaven great again?

  14. Kirk Moore says:

    Why was there only one set of footprints? Jesus, you’re a lightweight. That was when I carried you. And I’m gonna carry you all the way to the White House. We’re gonna be huuuuuge!

  15. Billie says:

    Jesus I love that thing you said, you know “people without sin can cast the first stone.” I too believe it’s important, in our line of work, to reward people for a job well done.

  16. Gary says:

    So Jesus, I’ve noticed you’re really sinking in the polls lately. How about you let me help you with that?

  17. Dan Russell says:

    You need to understand JC, it’s me – I’m the whole ball game.

  18. Terry Heaton says:

    “Jesus Christ! Whaddaya mean you LOVE Muslims!”

  19. Chris Hill says:

    What separates the winners from the losers is how a person reacts to each new twist of fate. ~ Donald Trump (actual quote, lol)

  20. Matthew D. says:

    “I’m telling you! China! Judas should have sold you out to China! China Jesus, China!”

  21. That Bible you wrote is great. I really like the part about those two Corinthian guys.

  22. Charles says:

    You see Jesus, I tell your people what they want to hear. It works wonders. You should try it sometime.

  23. Alexandra Dilley says:

    These ideas you have… They’re not going to make America great again.

  24. Beka says:

    You see, Jesus, I know what America needs…I got this.

  25. Joe mazzatta says:

    Trump: “Just wear this costume, take the money, and play along. Can’t be that hard to trick Americans”

  26. Joe Sellepack says:

    You’re fired! I’m the new Messiah and I don’t like poor people.

  27. Kris799 says:

    I lije you so much that I’ll force all Americans to acknowledge your birthday!!!

  28. Marliss Newberry says:

    Now God, here’s how you need to do it.

  29. Jefferson W. Slinkard says:

    “Hey, be my campaign manager, shave the beard, cut the hair, then we can go bomb the shit out of somebody!”

  30. Barbara says:

    Your father is a real LOSER, I would have resurrected you in 3 MINUTES!

  31. Sarah Dunsworth says:

    “I’m telling you, Jesus….put me in charge and Christianity is gonna be HUGE!”

  32. Jimmy says:

    So can you explain this two Corinthians to me? Is it anything like second corinthians?

  33. Sarah Dunsworth says:


    “I think you’ve missed something, son.”

  34. Esta Ann Ammerman says:

    “I don’t understand why people say I’m a racist? You were born as a white Christian? America is God’s Country, Your, Country Jesus! ” I guess people will never accept White Male Privilege.”

  35. Douglas says:

    “You lack one thing; go, sell what you own, and give the moneys to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me.”

  36. Jeff Cole says:

    ” so these two Corinthians walk into a bar……”

  37. Erin Green says:

    I know… Palin was a bad call, but what do you mean my presidency will bring about the eschaton? I love the eschatons! I’m friends with the eschatons. I think they’re great.

  38. Tommy johnson says:

    “Jesus, you need to get on board by next Tuesday, or I’ll tell my followers you’re an immigrant and a cry baby. You’re might even find yourself on the wrong side of this wall, good buddy!”…. Jesus wept.

  39. Jim says:

    So, what’s the price for using your name? I know you have a price.

  40. Brenton Reading says:

    Your just too low energy Jesus. That’s why you got crucified like a loser. Me, I’m a high energy winner! I’ll never get distracted by the poor, prisoners, blind, and oppressed.

  41. Randy says:

    “The way I see it, once I become President, you won’t need to come back. I’ll fix everything!”

  42. yancy johnson says:

    Donald, that’s not the way it works. That’s not how any of it works.

  43. David Blakely says:

    I like the way you fired those money-changers in “Latest Testament”

  44. Bart Zwaan says:

    It’s a Win Win really, I get to gain Votes and slander Your Name at the same time …

  45. José Arroyo says:

    C’mon Jesus, we can win this together! You turn the tables and I’ll do the name calling.

  46. Nola says:

    …And that’s how I’ll make Heaven great again Jesus. So, you’re fired!

  47. Kent Little says:

    Jesus, we’ve got big problems here and I know how to fix them. Big problems. You don’t understand what is going on with the big problems, and I know we have big problems. And besides, look how things turned out for you, I don’t think we want that again now do we? We have big problems.

  48. Dan says:

    We don’t need a weak person being our leader, OK, because that’s what we would get if it were you — I’ll tell you what, we don’t need that. We don’t need that.

  49. Brad says:

    Yes, I’d ask for forgiveness if I ever needed to. Your welcome.

  50. Eden says:

    If you want to make God great again, I know some people…

  51. Chad says:

    I was thinking we put crosses on the wall. Big decorative crosses.

  52. Deb says:

    So, the way I see it… If you build a wall around heaven, it will keep out the poor, rainbows, hijabs, and make heaven much whiter, er, brighter.

  53. Dude says:

    I like the people who don’t get crucified.

  54. Cat Riches says:

    so Jesus do you think you actually make more money than me? Do you know who I am?

  55. Alisha says:

    So Jesus…. Boxers or Briefs?

  56. Just for fun says:

    You can’t be the Messiah, you weren’t born in Bethlehem.

  57. Claude Rochon says:

    “So… what’s the deal with this Sanders guy? He actually believes all that crap you said about taking care of the poor, the widows, the orphans and all the other losers?”

  58. Kelly says:

    Oh, my bad. I totally thought you said, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto poo!”

  59. Ben Irwin says:

    Jesus. Come on. You call that a crown? That’s a terrible crown.

  60. Jen Munroe says:

    …So then I said to Jeb, watch this, I’m gonna be bigger than Jesus…”

  61. Dylan Worth says:

    “Sorry, Jesus. No Socialists. No Refugees. No Immigrants Allowed in the US.”

  62. Joy says:

    Danold: I’m gaining in the polls with the evangelicals.

    Jesus: They fired me a long time ago.

  63. Chris Muse says:

    You do understand why you have to be deported? You’re just to “foreign” to have a place in “my” Ameica

  64. Matt says:

    “Sorry Jesus, I am changing end times theology, the border is closed to refugees. Back to heaven you go…”

  65. Nick Gypps says:

    Together we’ll make America great again Jesus… If you bow down and worship me.

  66. That’s right, non-Christian strangers from the Mideast are not welcome.

  67. Carolee dalton says:

    So we start by building a HUGE kingdom.

  68. Bryan Hockensmith says:

    So we’re going to nail you to this cross . . . It’s gonna be GREAT!

  69. Caryn LeMur says:

    “We are all narcissistic at heart, aren’t we? I mean, you died to save the world, and ascended to heaven….and the world is dying to save me, and I will ascend to the Presidency. Kinda poetic, don’t ya think? NO??? YOU ARE FIRED!”

  70. Caryn LeMur says:

    “Bummer of a toupee you got there, Jesus.”

  71. hal says:

    “yeah, i hear ya, i know what it’s like to be sinless too.”

  72. Jessica Fore says:

    “I’m gonna teach you how to live!”

  73. Greg says:

    Jesus. Do you see all these Kingdoms l own? Ill give them all to you if youll bow down and worship me. Trump

  74. Jeni says:

    “Yeah,I didn’t really want to be President… Silly country seems to like me. How did you arrange your assassination?”

  75. Autumn Calvert says:

    If we play our cards right, we are in for power and glory, my friend. Power and glory!
    Good Lord.

  76. Preety Dass says:

    Trump: “Big deal you died on the cross. You’re a Messiah because you died on the cross. I like the Messiah that doesn’t die on the cross!”
    Jesus: “get behind me, Satan! You have in mind only human concerns and not concerns of God.”

  77. Steve Thomas says:

    ..sure you’re the son of God but I like people who weren’t crucified!!

  78. Susan says:

    “The only kind of people I want counting my money are little short guys that wear yamakas every day.”

  79. Luke says:

    Trump- you know like it says in the book ‘two Corinthians’…..
    Jesus- never heard of it.

  80. Jacob Wright says:

    “We’re gonna get rid of all the Samaritans, we’re gonna deport the Romans, we’re gonna bomb the shit out of Caesar… We’re gonna make Israel great again!”

  81. Silke Force says:

    It’s okay if you want to draw the circle wide. Just make sure you make the lines really thick so the wrong people can’t cross in

  82. Brendan Sutton says:

    “Hey, so, I was thinkin’ Jesus that since you’re a Republican and I’m a Republican…”

  83. David horton says:

    You’ve read Art of the Deal right? I mean, who hasn’t?! Everyone’s read my book…

  84. Velour says:

    “As president, I’ll perform more miracles than anyone.”

  85. Corey Lewis says:

    “So then two Corinthians walked into a bar…”

  86. objkshn says:

    “Show me someone without an ego, and I’ll show you a loser.”


  87. Eric Sun says:

    Jeez-baby, don’t look sullen; I’m not gonna fire you. But, you gotta do what I tell ya; then we’ll be HUUUUUGE.

  88. Jonathan Damico says:

    “I poll very well with deities. They love me. Yuge ratings.”

  89. Dan Dickinson says:

    I people who weren’t captured.

  90. Nate Sparks says:

    Just put a single Bible reference:

    Luke 18:18-23

  91. Jenna says:

    TRUMP: But lord, how do I ‘nail’ it without getting my hands dirty?

  92. Nerys Johnson says:

    Now Jesus, about my part in Revelation…

  93. Phoebe-joy McLaren says:

    So I have talked to my lawyers and there is no way out of it. You said “ask and you shall receive”

  94. Loren Haas says:

    So, Palin’s already got Secretary of State so I figure you to head Defense. You gotta have some scores to settle!

  95. Jo Smith says:

    You must be joking! Sell all that I have and give it to the poor!

  96. Eva Ivey says:

    You tellin’ me you just got the one Pearly Gate? Let me tell you about my YUUUUGE wall…

  97. Ben says:

    DT: I knew we’d be pals, Big J! You get me! I been tellin ’em. We’re gonna build a wall. Thanks to you, we are adding giant gemstones to our wall, just like the walls around your homestate, New Jersey.

    JC: Jerusalem, Don…. New JERUSALEM. *facepalm*

  98. Nick Gypps says:

    There’s a lot of synergy between your followers and mine Jesus. With this merger we’ll take over the world!

  99. Andy says:

    I’ll make you great again! Fall down and worship me. Trump 4:9

  100. Kevin says:

    You’re fired!

  101. Andy Campbell says:

    JC, we have to talk more about the plans I have to make America grate again…

  102. matt says:

    Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. 2 Corinthians walk into a bar…

  103. John Powell says:

    You want them to listen? Okay. Here’s what we have to do….

  104. Lilian Shi says:

    NBC would kill for a return of Celebrity Apprentice like this.

  105. Well Jeff Cole, you’re the winner. I consider your caption the best. A couple others came up with the same idea but your’s was the first one.

    ” so these two Corinthians walk into a bar……” Funny after Trump called second Corinthians two Corinthians.

    I’ll need your mailing address so I can send you the finished cartoon.

    Thanks everyone for playing. This one was a riot! We’ll have another one next Friday!


  106. Dan says:

    And Jesus thought it took patience to stay on the cross…

  107. Faith says:

    Jesus, we are going to save Christianity, but here’s the deal, I will have to confiscate your passport.

  108. Kate Hammerquist says:

    These were awesome and hilarious. Thank you for making my day!

  109. MerryAnne Melin says:

    By the way where the hell is Corinthia , and are they Muzlums?

  110. Sheri Dickson Little says:

    I am the great I AM.

  111. jimmy McCollum says:

    Yeah I get that you like people getting cured of sickness with no expectations of income Jesus, but I still think I made the right choice running republican.

  112. Mike Lelieur says:

    Jesus, you may have rose from the dead, but I can shoot some one in the middle of 5th Avenue and not lose supporters.

  113. Gary says:

    Sigh, so we have Hilary on the left and this guy on the right. Reminds me of a song, “clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am America, stuck in the middle with you.”

  114. Sheron says:

    OK, Jesus, lose the beard, the crown, and the humility, and people will actually listen to you!

  115. Brad Spencer says:

    First show me the camel and the needle.

  116. purvez says:

    I’ve been away and am just catching up. The ‘home’ page shows 121 comments for this blog entry yet I can only see 16. Also nothing within the 16 comments to show who won. I suspect that there is something stopping me seeing all comments here. I am very keen to have the rectified if possible, please, David. Thanks in advance.

  117. I’m seeing them all purvez. I’ve tried different browsers, as well as computers, as well as incognito. They all work. Haven’t tried mobile though.

  118. Purvez says:

    From the home page it took me to a version where only 16 comments were showing and not the final version with the caption. However once I was in there I refreshed the page and that brought up the one with the caption and all the comments.

    Thanks very much for taking the time to investigate.