Meet Bible Man, our new Christian superhero

"BIBLE MAN" cartoon by nakedpastor David Hayward

“BIBLE MAN” cartoon by nakedpastor David Hayward

[Get a poster of your superhero BIBLE MAN here!]

After my post yesterday about homosexuality causing earthquakes, we get the brilliant comment:

“It always amazes me that the same people that are for gay rights are ultimately against it for their own Mother and Father. The bible is the truth dummy. If everyone turns gay then their will be no life and no you to slander God’s word!”

I’m not sure if he meant the bible is a “truth-dummy”, where we suck on it like a baby would… that it’s not the real thing but a fake, a dummy. The bible is a truth-dummy.

OR, was he calling me a dummy, as in, the bible is the truth, dummy! I think this is what he meant.

So, it sounds like we need a new superhero to save the day. Ta-da! BIBLE MAN! Yes! The creator, upholder, and protector of all truth. Don’t mess with Bible Man, dummy!, cuz he ain’t no truth-dummy, or he will stone you to death, then throw you into hell where you will burn alive forever and ever amen!

Yes this makes sense. Don’t ask any more questions. Bible Man is the answer for the world today!

Come save us, Bible Man!

CAN I HELP YOU? CLICK HERE!

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16 Responses

  1. Laura Beth says:

    I love this! With all the answers there the questions become pointless – no more journies in life, we have arrived. I love the no more life argument – if we all took Paul’s advice (from the book of truth, dummy) then it would be better if we didn’t marry at all. Guess what – same result!

  2. irreverance says:

    For some reason, when I read “Bible Man” it sounds like the “Trojan Man” from an old condom commercial.

    http://www.hark.com/clips/xhcbwmjpmr-trojan-man

  3. Sabio Lantz says:

    You could have sold this idea to Marvel and made millions!

    Bible-Man
    Qur’an-Man
    Torah-Man

    Sadly, all this religious nonsense is deadly serious.

    Micah’s link is hilarious — or would be hilarious if it was not so sad.

  4. Jonn McDaniel says:

    Did I miss the part where anyone on the planet was advocating for everyone to become gay? I must’ve been so busy reading my truth-dummy book that I missed that…

    We can love people who are LGBT, speak out strongly against all discrimination towards them, and still remain straight. I know, shocking!

  5. Jarred H says:

    So wait, just because I’m in favor of LGBT rights, I’m against rights for my own parents? That makes absolutely no sense.

    Also, this is a friendly reminder that according to the Bible itself (See the first chapter of the gospel of John), the “Word of God” is Jesus. Not the Bible. I think Fred Clark recently did a post on this topic.

  6. Gary says:

    LOVE IT!!!!!

  7. Sabio Lantz says:

    @ Reema,
    Do you also believe that the Qur’an is a truth that is filtered through Human interpretation and understanding? Do you also feel the same about the Bhagavad Gita?
    We you say, “we”, who do you mean?

  8. Sabio Lantz says:

    Hi Reema,

    Well, I know there are many different kinds of Islam (just as there are many different flavors of Christianity). And I know most forms of Islam feel that the Qur’an is perfect while the Christian and Jewish scriptures are corrupt. How about your. And further, that most forms of Islam condemn strongly Hinduism, Buddhism and especially atheists.

    What sect of Islam do you profess?

    I have had several Muslims on my site who start out talking with lots of vague, and apparently open comments but in the end, held fairly classic exclusivist views.

    Thus I am asking.

  9. Cecilia Davidson says:

    This looks quite a lot like the robot created by Dr. Eggman/Dr. Robotnik (Sonic the Hedgehog franchise) who’s hammering into the ground a sign that reads “NO FUN ALLOWED.”

    Unintentional parallel? Maybe. But a parallel.

  10. Jennybek says:

    !!! Not the hero fundies need, but the one they deserve.

  11. Shazza tha dazzla says:

    Hehehe…. Well done David. Well done…….

  12. Ducatihero says:

    Great point Reema about the word of God being Jesus. Steve Chalke here in the UK has also been known to say what you have about that. So then the bible is the word of God as understood through Jesus’ eyes and none of us are Jesus.

    So then because Gods thoughts are above ours, there are always surprises that come when reading the bible and new things to learn.

    Something that bible man who has all the answers, everything figured out that he is compelled to tell you so you will be free because he loves you. Oh wait, didn’t the apostle Paul have something to say about this guy with having a form of godliness but being arrogant?

    Of course the same guy pops up in many forms of human movements religious or secular. It was both that got Jesus killed.

  13. Ducatihero says:

    Yes, I wold affirm that.

  14. Yasmin says:

    Somewhere, I saw a billboard the said simply, “God is too great to fit within one religion.” How very true that is, according to the definition of God that most of us understand. I’d go farther and say that any god that does fit completely within one group’s understanding isn’t really worth worshipping. He/she/it is really one human-sized in that case.