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Your wounds are yours! It doesn’t matter who inflicted them, who gave them to you. They’re now yours!
I got some abusive emails from a pastor. I shared them with my support. He found out I shared them. He was offended that I would share his emails with people. He abused me. I showed my wounds. He felt I had no right to share what he believed wasn’t mine, but his!
It’s like shooting someone with an arrow and coming to ask for it back. No way! It’s mine now.
Anne Lamott has said: “You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.”
Your wounds are yours! Don’t be afraid of embarrassing your aggressor or abuser. They threw the ball, lobbed the missile, shot the arrow, into your body! Now it’s yours.
When a church and its leadership abuses you, they have given you something that is now totally yours. Share it!
It is still shocking to me when I see all the maneuvers to silence people from sharing their experiences and showing their wounds. All kinds of reasons are given: it’s embarrassing; it’s not helpful; it will compromise the cause; it’s not glorifying to Christ; it maligns the Church, the Bride of Christ; it’s not true; there’s no corroboration; it’s too ugly and inappropriate; it’s risky for you to do so; etcetera.
But those wounds are yours! No one else can or should tell you what to do with them. You can do whatever you want with them. They’re yours and yours alone! No one has rights on your property.
I do understand that sometimes it’s not safe to share your wounds. I emphasize: always make sure you are safe first.
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