hell for sex

Are they going to hell for sex?

I remember in bible college having to sit through a series of sermons on sexuality. We were taught all about the sins of unmarried sex, masturbation and oral sex. There was even some theologizing about sex positions, including the sin of the woman being on top… a submission issue. All participating in these activities were going to hell.

I remember friends of mine… boyfriend and girlfriend… feeling so guilty after making out in a car that they confessed their sin to the dean of students. We never saw them again. They were kicked out.

My girlfriend and I, now my wife, confessed nothing.

I think the two in this cartoon must have heard those sermons.

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30 Responses

  1. Jacquie says:

    I heard them too…and gave me some measure of guilt as well. But the guilty pleasure soon solved that problem.

  2. hahahahah I (too) am confessing nothing, sad sad sad that we cannot trust even our christian friends, i trust no one and i am criticised for it, it also makes me very very lonely …

    i remember someone telling me once that ‘doggie’ style was linked with Zoophilia … hilarious!

  3. Paul says:

    This cartoon so well shows how easy it is to live under law, even inventing laws that are not in the Bible “Just to make sure”.

  4. Alise says:

    Yup. That kind of stuff messes with your head. Shame, shame, shame. Not okay.

  5. James says:

    Ya know….if everyone had confessed to the dean of students, he would have to shown up in front of the angry-board, demanding to know why he had just bankrupted the school. Probably would be working at his new job right now pumping gas.

  6. Gary says:

    Such sexual preaching serves one purpose, to control. It has absolutely nothing to do with purity or holiness because the standard imposed by the church has nothing to do with God.

  7. Amaris says:

    I don’t think there are many good and fun things that are considered ‘holy’. Wow, let’s take the fun out of life, become slaves and feel guilty for being human and happy. Sounds like Stalin’s Russia! Control, control, control! I prefer the democracy of common logic.

  8. If you’re absolutely certain that the church would approve, you’re doing it wrong.

    We had an entire away weekend being told exactly what we were (but mainly weren’t) allowed to do. I discovered that just about everything was forbidden, including some things I’d never considered or even heard of – bit of an own goal there – but I’ve never been told that woman on top was a sin. Must have forgotten to mention it.

    If they didn’t want you to spawn lots of baby Christians, they’d probably have everyone castrated on conversion.

  9. anonymous says:

    I hear you. But I also believe that boundaries in this area are to protect us not deprive us.

    Sex is a very intimate activity and can cause tremendous pain (not to mention STD’s) when treated flippantly.

    There’s a lot to be said for faithfulness in monogamous marriage (which I have not experienced d/t my husband’s sexual addiction and flippancy).

  10. Pat B says:

    There was even some theologizing about sex positions, including the sin of the woman being on top… a submission issue.

    a bit of a giveaway that one eh?

  11. Victor says:

    Wow… that’s incredible. I remember when I was about 15, I was in the teen group at a large biblical conference and we were talking about the “sins of the flesh” and I distinctly remember talking about masturbation, their only argument was “You might be told it’s normal, but it doesn’t promote pure thoughts, so it is wrong.”

    Seems 99% of the time they don’t even have biblical backing for their religious claims.

    Also the two who were kicked out, that hardly reflects Christ does it? Did Jesus say “Repent of your sins and I will cast you out for your honesty.” I mean, come on, that’s insane.

    But the whole thing of the woman being submissive, I mean does that allow rape within marriage then!? You can take that to some pretty disturbing extremes.

    Why are these kind of things even promoted in christian circles? Sex, if and how we have it, and who with, has nothing to do with Jesus or our salvation.

    Jesus didn’t come to earth to give us sex ed lessons.

    The church should stop telling people how to live and start to profess Christ and him crucified for our salvation.

  12. Sarah says:

    It’s all good. Anal, oral, fisting, squirting.

    Paul’s words apply: Everything is allowed, not everything is going to be helpful. Figure out at the time if it’ll be helpful for you. If so, go for it with all your heart. If not, just gently step back.

    It’s all good.

  13. anonymous says:

    PS. H’s activities created hell– on earth- for me and the children. Just sayin’

    Thankfully, our hell ended when his heart turned back toward home, but go look at some pictures of HPV, throat cancer, penile cancer, etc… = hell

  14. Gary says:


    Cheating and risky behavior bring their own consequences. They are outside the boundaries of either common sense or God’s best for us. I am in no way minimizing the pain of the betrayal you have experienced. I think all of us here probably recognize the cost of such behavior.


    The church in general has repeatedly stepped WAY OUTSIDE the boundaries of scripture in their handling of sexuality. No example of abuse will change the beauty of this wonderful gift sexuality. Church imposed boundaries interest me not. The proper boundary is the law of love.

  15. Eddy Hooper says:

    David, my entire Christian life has been dogged by this issue. I can’t tell you the HELL I went through regarding sexuality and how much I felt so apart from God. Thank God for grace and the grace movement! You all don’t have any idea how much this means to me. God didn’t want to wipe me off the face of the earth because I masturbated or if I was sexually involved with a woman how much I felt like a jerk. I lost my marriage over this issue. Thankfully, thankfully I am starting to realize how much God has never left me nor is he shocked with my thoughts or desires. AND HE STILL LOVES ME!! I can’t help but feel confident of his love for me and think this issue is (in some regards) a love issue more than a “major” issue.

  16. Diatribe says:

    An alternative for the text bubble might be…
    “Wow! that was heaven.”

    Our physical appetites can be abused. Is obesity any less a sin than some which figure on the sex spectrum? And why not add smoking to the list of prohibitions. I have concern about all those pastors who can’t stop drinking coffee because of the headaches from caffine withdrawal but manage to condem drug taking.

    If these seems a long way from the cartoon it is just that I think we need to be broader in our thinking when we consider “sins of the flesh”

  17. Steve Martin says:

    If you go to Hell for sex, then I will have a front row seat.


    It does crack me up that people who are themselves covered in feces, wlak around looking at the ground so that they won’t step in it.

    ‘Sin’ is not something that we can choose to avoid ( individual ‘sins’ are ).

    Sin is our condition. There is no escaping it. It is our reality. We can’t clean ourselves up in that reagrd. We actually need a Savior.

  18. Dr Campbell says:

    “I remember friends of mine… boyfriend and girlfriend… feeling so guilty after making out in a car that they confessed their sin to the dean of students. We never saw them again. They were kicked out.”

    What kind of atmosphere is this promoting?!

    James 5:16.

    It seems to me that this attitude is what is fueling the “hypocracy” – Christians have to be perfect, When Christians sin everyone bashes them/us, or my sin is less than your sin.

    Gods word calls us to confess to one another, encourage one another, and God’s Grace covers our sin. It would be nice to be with believers who sin like i do. and be able to learn and grow closer to God because of our honesty

  19. Christine says:

    No women on top, eh? Could be tricky. We could both just be on our sides all the time; kinda boring, though. Will have to watch out for that next time. 😉

    @Steve: Not sure I know what you meant by “If you go to Hell for sex, then I will have a front row seat,” but it’s probably not meant to provide my mental image of you watching people having hell-damning sex. (Funny way to read it, though.) I’ll just assume you meant that you’re not anti-sex; benefit of the doubt and all. 🙂

    @anonymous: While you may have seen in that cartoon someone cheating on a spouse (especially because why else would they think they’d go to hell), probably most of us didn’t. Actually, most of us probably just imagined they had great sex – which is what made it hilarious (for me, at least) and illustrates just what’s wrong with the church’s attitude towards sex.

    As I think the text makes clear, the cartoon isn’t about the context of the relationship. Most of us, I would think, believe that matters a great deal. I firmly believe that loving, committed relationships (however defined) are essential. And when in one, the boundaries should be defined solely by the people involved. How one has sex and with whom is therefore limited by what causes hurt and harm to a relationship and those in it. (In other words, I completely agree with having boundaries in the context you mean.) But, if partners in a loving, committed relationship mutually feel something is loving and beneficial and profitable and enjoyable, then how dare a bunch of self-righteous outsiders tell them how to love each other?

    Anyways, that’s my take on it. (In other words, ditto Gary – yes, everyone, I know, surprise, surprise. 🙂 )

  20. the thick of it says:

    I believe the pre-marital standards set by the church are impossible to keep. I’ve been raised with the weight of ‘blessings or curses’ as regards to sexual conduct. The guilt lasts longer that way. I was once in a workplace that was one hot bed of sex. In conversation about it one day, my (married, monogamous) boss who was generally repulsed by Christian values said straight up, “these young ones, they don’t consider the sacredness of sex. Sex is sacred”. I found it the most unusual statement from her. And haven’t forgotten it. Church dictates and edicts aside, does sacredness count for anything anymore?

  21. Dan Hergott says:

    Well either you believe that Jesus died for all of the world’s sins or He didn’t. If Christians don’t believe that Jesus died for All men’s sins (including that of un-believers) then there is not much point believing or spreading the Good news message.

    Forgiveness based on behavior is not God’s free gift of grace but works and is no Gospel at all, leaving no hope.


  22. Gary says:

    Christine you crack me up. I love your sense of humor. You have good insights and I always look forward to your comments.

  23. We French Pentecostals had it good… we were given “The Act of Marriage” and told to enjoy this gift within a holy union of course… and we sure did… boy, oh boy… bliss, joy, ecstasy… all that waiting made worthwhile… this is why being single again is so hard on me… but I have come to realize I never want to have love without sex and I never want to have sex without love…

  24. Norm Donnan says:

    Strange,ive been in church all my life and never once heard this stuff.Except once a bloke said masterbation was wrong,i just thought,”what a wanker”,but it was an american dvd.More to the point i dont understand why some people hear somthing in church and think it is an absolute, like not drinking allcahol

  25. Gary says:

    That’s a great point Norm…why do so many hear things in church and think they are absolutes? And I am sure if you were in more of the fundamental variety of church like I grew up in…you would have received a regular diet of this nonsense. Fortunately not all churches play the control games…but those who do leave a trail of messed up people in their wake.

  26. ccws says:

    If the sex doesn’t get you sent straight to Hell, the smoking will…at least they had the good taste to have sex in bed instead of standing up, which might have led to =gasp= DANCING!!!

    True story: When my (Catholic) ex and I were dating, he said something about going to confession & I asked him if he confessed about me. His reply was AWSUM:

    “No, confession is supposed to involve true sorrow & a willingness to do better.”

    We weren’t worried about what God thought. We just didn’t want his parents, who never cared much for me, finding out! (Of course, after we were married they just had to live with it. And they did get a grandson out of the deal.)

    @NORM said: Except once a bloke said masterbation was wrong,i just thought,”what a wanker”

    Or an anti-wanker, as the case may be…

  27. Sarah says:

    ccws, 😉 !!!

  28. Brigitte says:

    I’ve been in the church my entire life and all kinds of Bible studies and never heard such stuff. My parents models a happy, healthy, sexy marriage, which made us children feel very secure. What NP rights about has the mark of human rule making. I think what’s good about young Christian adults is that they realize when it is getting hot and heavy they should be thinking about marriage and then they go get married.

    This is good. Thus I did not last long, nor did my daughter, married at 22 to a 20 year old. Nor have I ever worried about creative expression. It would be hard to anticipate all the things one might try. (However, as I’ve said before–to howling response–I would for health reasons not recommend anal sex in any setting.)

    Christine, I think what Steve is saying, and knowing him and how wonderful and charming he is, he has had his share of flings and he is very sorry. But he trusts in Christ.

  29. Gary says:

    God has never spoken against sex between consenting adults when property rights rights were not violated (old covenant) or when the law of love is not violated (new covenant).

  30. Christine says:


    Re: Steve’s comment: Ah, got it. Could have been a few things, wasn’t sure exactly. That makes sense.

    On “young Christian adults”, sounds like you are advocating people rushing into marriage so they can have sex. Making sure you get the right person seems pretty important, which often takes longer than marrying the first person you want to have sex with…

    On anal sex, please stop just saying that. If you have any real reason for believing that anal sex in any context, no matter how careful, is unhealthy, speak now and let’s get this over with. Otherwise, please drop it.

    I do agree with you that it’s human rule making. I think it’s all human rule making. If people would just admit that, we’d be fine.

    Happy to hear about your parents. We just aren’t ll that lucky, I guess.