10 Signs Your Pastor is a Zombie


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All in good fun! I have been a pastor and many still consider me one, though naked. Be warned: this applies to ministers, reverends, priests, imams, rabbis, etc. If you are one of these, it is very difficult to perform a self-test. But if you are suspicious, ask somebody close to you who will be honest. If it turns out you are a zombie, then you can eat them. But only then.

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15 Responses

  1. preacherlady says:

    I’ve known several of these people! Now, regarding myself, do you really think I’ll trust your assessment?

  2. Johnfom says:

    Eating people’s brains is murder!…

    Tasty, tasty murder. Mmmmm

  3. Rob says:

    Wish I had this last Sunday; my Easter message was ‘How to Thrive and Grow During a Zombie Apocalypse’. We expect people in church to behave like they have a new nature, but give them no freedom to really connect with God and each other on their own. We as leaders give no choice but to process the gospel as rules of conduct for our old nature to strive for, centered around the leader’s particular set of insecurities, judgments, and unhealed wounds. The result is an on-going devouring of brain and heart in exchange for a life of conformity, fear, and shuffling along aimlessly.

  4. Steve Martin says:

    Here’s another sign:

    He/she does everything they can to keep the Old Adam/Eve alive in us. Trying to make us “better”.

  5. Susan says:

    I’ve met a few Number 5’s in my city!! 🙂

  6. So that’s what Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’ was all about!

  7. Christine says:

    Steve, what in the world does that have to do with zombies?

  8. Michael Peele says:

    I’ve met quite a few 5’s and even more 6’s. (hint hint, the stench you smell when around them comes from their empty cliches`)

  9. Rt Rev Barry Rathbone says:

    Saw this through a friend on Facebook. Have to admit I have known many, probably been a couple of them (although I make sure that I have a bath at least once a year now) and think this top 10 should be posted on day one in every seminary and Bible College pastoral study course in the hope that we don’t knock the individuality and fun out of our seminarians before its too late!
    Thanks again for making an old Bishop giggle!

  10. nakedpastor says:

    thanks Rev. i appreciate it.

  11. Exactly my first thought Prodigal Prophet! Love it-like looking in a mirror most mornings (most Monday mornings anyhow). Would be great to do a video shoot of MJ’s Thriller at a clergy conference 😉

    I just found your site Naked Pastor and have booked it–your pics are going straight onto the refrigerator door of my soul. Thanks.

    Peter

  12. nakedpastor says:

    lol thanks peter

  13. The first time I diagnosed my former pastor was when I told him a joke about the Pope, Jesus and the Fishers Club.

  14. Brandi Eissinger says:

    Would it be murder if you just turned someone into a zombie? I’m sure that’s not a sin…

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