Category Archives: art

calm

The calmer we are the more we reflect truth.

The more calm I am, the more accurately I reflect That Which Is True. It hasn’t been easy lately. In fact I’ve failed. Sometimes I feel like I’m being tested. The winds of adversity trouble me.

But I want to pass. I intend to pass. With honor. I will reflect with purity the love, peace, joy and truth that surrounds me.

I desire the reflection to be so accurate that you will not be able to discern the difference between me and That Which I Reflect.

Buy a print of my painting Calm.

waiting and waiting and waiting

Rahab waits for deliverance.

Rahab's Crimson Cord

Sometimes all we can do is all we can do, then wait.

Like Rahab. She waited for her deliverance to finally come.

Waiting. Waiting. Then waiting some more.

Make it an art form.

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Check out my books that are full of my drawings: CLICK HERE!

thankful for my friends

watercolor painting of redbirds

Jesus called his disciples his friends.

I’ve been thinking a lot about friendship lately. Perhaps you read my post this morning. It’s my theme today.

Since Lisa and I left the church two years ago we’ve experienced times of severe loneliness. We lost a bunch of friends all at once. It wasn’t our intention for it to go that way, but it did. We also lost the culture of fellowship that provided a network of friendships that could be renewed and renegotiated every week. That wasn’t our intention either, but that’s what happened. Although there was a lots of positives about our experience of friendship in the church, it surprisingly came to an abrupt end. Partly my fault because I’m the one who left.

But I’ve learned some new things about friendship.

Lisa is a full-time student getting her nursing degree and has met a whole new set of people and made new friends of excellent quality. I’ve become a teacher of English as a second language to Pre-MBA students. I too have made new friends, each one of them special, unique and valuable to me in different ways.

Lisa and I have been our best companions. I’d be lost without her. But we are also so thankful for our friends. They’ve come bearing gifts of love, acceptance and joy. They appreciate who we are just as we are.

I’ll tell a few of the things that make these new friends beautiful:

  1. They really do love me. Although from my experience I have a suspicion that you can never know for sure, their love for me feels unconditional. They don’t seem to have some kind of theological or ecclesiological mental matrix that I have to fit into or face rejection. I am more myself than I have ever been because I feel the many restrictions departing. I actually experiment with being truly me. And they love me just the same, if not more.
  2. They don’t care about my past. Even though they are interested in my story, they don’t hold it against me because they realize, just like with them, that I am not my history. They don’t use it to judge me or to predict me. They see David before them and embrace him just as he is. It’s so refreshing to just be accepted and loved for who I am right now without the stickiness of religious hopes and expectations.
  3. They help me be carefree. Although I still have a few friends from the past that I treasure, most of them have also left the church. Along with my new friends, my friends now are so much more carefree. Fun is valued. Happiness is sought. Frivolity is encouraged and appreciated. We have some pretty serious talks, but they aren’t laden with propriety. It is nice just have lighthearted fun and to be so carefree.

Jesus loved his friends. I’m sure this is what he meant.

Buy a print of my painting Redbird Pair, a picture of friendship.

new painting “prevailing”

original painting prevailing

There are two ways to prevail.

Like the tree, you can go with the adversity. Bend with it. Be flexible in the face of it. Surrender to it.

Or, like the crow, you can lean into it. Streamline yourself against it. Endure it. Stand your ground in spite of it.

Both are wise. Both prevail.

Even against the most severe of prevailing winds.

Buy the original painting. Or buy the a print of this painting.

Sophia Saturday: “bridge”

Burn your bridges!

Just like Sophia here, in one fell swoop I took an axe to the bridge and cut it. Instantly! Although the urge had been building up for a long time, the actual physical cutting of the bridge was rash, instantaneous and permanent.

I have no regrets.

There were two things I was separating myself from:

  1. Toxic Relationships: I had become hopelessly entangled in very unhealthy relationships. It was like I had a target on me for abuse. It was even worse than I thought. There were many people who felt it was their personal calling to keep me humble. Actually, some told me that. Each and every day welcomed new forms of criticism, judgment and condemnation. How much I was personally implicated in the creation of this climate for abuse I have yet to fully unravel. I had become so sick, breathing the air of abusiveness for so long, that perhaps I welcomed it and even invited it. This is not to excuse the abusers, but to recognize how codependent I’d become. In any case, I got to the point one night where I recognized it and immediately cut the bridge, separating myself from some very rude, nasty and even cruel relationships. I even blocked such people from this blog. I’ve never seen or heard from most of those people again.
  2. Toxic Culture: I wouldn’t claim that every church is like this, but too many are. The church culture I was a part of was very toxic. And I hear from people every day from across the denominational spectrum who share the same experience. Far too many people experience religious communities as poisonous, and that this is often actually an assumed aspect of religious communal life. This is why, on the other side of the chasm from Sophia, we can make out some individual forms, but they amalgamate into a harmful hoard. I honestly declare that too much of my experience of the church was destructive to me as a living, breathing person. I love the church and still believe that there must be a way to do church that is healthy and edifying to the person. There were moments I enjoyed that, but the general thrust was toxic. In one blow I ended it, separating myself from that culture. I have no intentions of going back into it. But I do have hopes of being engaged once again in the communal experiment… once I am healthy enough.

If you identify with what I’m talking about, then admit it, find your axe, and use it.

Buy the original drawing.

Buy a print of this drawing.

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Sophia is me wrestling

Sophia entangled in her own hair.

I want to apologize, but not really, for posting this Sophia image again, “Entangled”. Of all the Sophias, this one is the most emotional for me because it captures the messy struggle I’m presently engaged in.

I was recalling the Jacob story when he was wrestling with the angel. All the ingredients are there in that story to metaphorically illustrate my journey.

  1. It is in the darkness. Things have been very, very dark, grim and even spooky. The light at times has been non-existent.
  2. I am alone. There is no one here to help me. I have a wonderful wife and a few good friends, but no one can really comprehend the depths of the journey we take sometimes. It is beyond them because it is beyond you.
  3. A wrestling match ensues. The past few years has been some of the worst warfare I’ve ever experienced. I’ve gone through some pretty nasty things… like a devastating church split, being fired from an international and very public ministry, personal bankruptcy… but nothing compares to the severe battle I have been waging. And I can’t tell if it is evil or good. but it is certainly angelic in scale.
  4. I want a blessing. I don’t want all this to just be a waste. I don’t want to simply survive this ordeal. I will not let this go until I receive a blessing from it. I want to emerge from this conflict a better man, good and wise.

Whether they are my inner demons or angels, or whether they have been sent, I cannot tell. All I know is that I will prevail!

At an amazing 50% off, you can purchase the original HERE, or buy a print of it HERE.

In anticipation of Valentine’s Day, I am giving away 50% OFF coupons to all the artwork in my gallery, including my Sophia originals and prints, cartoon originals and prints, and other art. Everything! All you have to do is type “VALENTINE” in the coupon code box! Click here!

new Sophia drawing “entangled”

Sophia entangled in her own hair.

Sophia represents my inner journey. Like Sophia, I used to think freedom was liberation from external forces trying to control me. Now I realize that the hardest battle for freedom is an interior one. Sophia is all tangled up in her own issues. But she is a determined young woman. She will achieve the freedom she so desperately desires. And that means me too!

At an amazing 50% off, you can purchase the original HERE, or buy a print of it HERE.

In anticipation of Valentine’s Day, I am giving away 50% OFF coupons to all the artwork in my gallery, including my Sophia originals and prints, cartoon originals and prints, and other art. Everything! All you have to do is type “VALENTINE” in the coupon code box! Click here!