A friend died Sunday night. I was with her in the hospital room Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Here’s a list of suggestions for those visiting the dying and their loved ones in hospitals. This is mostly for the loved ones in the room, and most of it assumes that the dying is unconscious. Kerry slipped into a coma as the weekend progressed, so even though we were ultimately sensitive to her, their were concerns for the family and friends who were there that this list addresses. I’ll assemble another list of suggestions for being with a dying person who is conscious to the end. Hope this one helps!
- I don’t care what I’m doing, when I get the call that so and so is dying, I drop it and go. I don’t say, “I’ll be there as soon as I’m finished Grey’s Anatomy.” Drop and go! They’ve called you or you’ve been informed probably when they couldn’t possibly wait any longer to let you know. Get there! Everyone will understand. It is an honor that they’ve remembered to tell you and that they want you there or think you should be there. Unless of course you are Jesus… then perhaps you can get there late and raise them from the dead. Read More
I went to the hospital again today to visit another friend. I visited with her yesterday. We actually had a conversation. But overnight she took a sudden turn for the worse. Lisa and I were on our way to have breakfast together this morning when I received a call about her condition. We immediately turned around, I dropped Lisa off home and I rushed into the hospital. My good friend, her husband, was in the room with her. She was pretty much comotose. I couldn’t believe it. I just sat with him and let him tell me what he could between his confused looks and tears. I prayed for her. Several family members started arriving and the room was getting crowded so I left. Now I am home late at night not sure whether I should go to bed or not. I received a call that they’ve started her on morphine and ativan. I’m expecting a call in the night. Or should I go in now and wait? I’ve decided, upon Lisa’s suggestion, that I should wait for a call. Who knows what time it could be. I didn’t have the hours I expected to tie up loose ends on my sermon today. Nor will I tonight it seems. Maybe early in the morning. Or maybe not. This is real life and death folks… the place where you don’t have the luxury of determining your own future.
The contemplative photograph is from my friend, Jorgen Klausen’s “Winter Trees” collection.
If you like this post, or if you'd like to use it, consider buying me a beer.
David Hayward is an artist trapped in a pastor's body, stripping to the essential.
