- I’ve experienced enough abuse, intrigue, exploitation and alienation within the church, and have heard enough first hand testimonies from others, to realize that it isn’t rare within this institution.
- My experience of church in the past tells me that I am to believe what is expected and what I am told.
- Questions, unless they complement the accepted tradition and dogma, are not welcomed.
- I’ve found that friendship within the church is not based on love for the person, but on a conditional compatibility.
- The church is notorious for supporting codependency. Refuse to play this game and you’re considered cruel.
- Success, in terms of money, numbers, appearance and reputation, is the gauge of choice. If you redefine what true success is and live by that, you’re considered a failure.
- Creativity has difficulty finding a home here. Unless it is religious art.
- Exclusion trumps inclusion. Gays, for example. Diversity is scary and deemed impossible.
- Male dominated. The fascination with power, authority, strategy, chain of command, visions and goals, reflect this.
- The threatening demand to adhere to a literalist interpretation of scripture is always the axe waiting to fall and sever you from the group.
I’m finding these days a struggle. We are going through quite a difficult time. I have to admit to you: God’s silence and apparent absence is profound right now. I really don’t understand what’s happening, how things are being orchestrated, or which direction to take. If only God were predictable! If only I could understand his ways! If only I could read his thoughts! But this, I’ve come to the conclusion after Paul, is impossible. His thoughts and his ways are beyond finding out. They are inscrutable. Period.
When it comes down to it, I have to learn to rest in this persistent reality. That’s number one. I cannot see. I cannot feel. I cannot hear. But somehow, I have to learn to trust from within this silent, numb darkness. Number two is that I can enjoy the company of my wife, my family and my friends. My community. I can see them. I can feel them. I can hear them. This is a gift to me. To love and be loved. And to actually physically, emotionally and spiritually take pleasure in them. And this is my greatest joy.
I think this is about the Spirit. I’m thinking this deafening silence and profound absence, but firmly rooted in a real local community is somehow the presence of the Spirit.
The image is a painting of mine titled, “The Wooded Lane”.
Contributions to nakedpastor are greatly appreciated.
This cartoon is also my submission to Illustration Friday’s “contained”.
Check out my tees HERE and my art HERE.
David Hayward is a pastor artistically stripping to the essential.
