This parable, roughly written yesterday and today, captures the story of my life and my church’s life. Here’s how it goes:
A beautiful young woman fell in love and married the perfect man. It was a famous wedding. They were the ideal couple. They had the admiration of everyone around. It was a fairy-tale wedding and a dream marriage. Things were wonderful. For about a year.
She realized, as she became more mature and self-aware, that she wanted to continue to grow and develop as a person. She wanted to discover who she was and be that person. She started to become more vocal as she spoke her mind. She was confident enough in herself and in their love to be herself and to experiment with her own chosen path of self-discovery and self-expression. At first her husband was slightly amused. But over time it developed into bafflement as he began to realize that she was indeed changing. She wasn’t the quiet, submissive woman who fell head over heels for him. She was more honest about what she thought, and he wasn’t sure he liked it.
So, one day, as an attempt to re-establish order, he lashed out at her about something she said: “What are you doing? Why are you changing the rules? We had an agreement! We used to get along so well. We never used to disagree! Now you seem to question everything I say. I want things back the way they were. I want you to fulfill the vows that we wrote ourselves where you said you would always honor me and look to me as the head of our household! We were happier then! You’re the one who’s changing, not me! You’re wrecking something beautiful.” He was angry. She never saw him so furious. And it frightened her.
He was right. She was changing! She could see that she wasn’t the sweet naive girl he married. Or… was she changing? Maybe she was just becoming more confident in who she was. Maybe her true self was coming out… her true self that at first temporarily slept under the power of infatuation but was now awakening in spite of his resistance. It took a lot of courage for her to be herself. His reactions were becoming more violent and cruel. Over time things got steadily worse until she felt she had no choice. She actually began fearing for her safety. Nor could she bear the thought of living in his prison for the rest of her life. She tried to talk to him about it, but he always managed to make her feel it was all her fault. He would get angrier and angrier. So, with all the courage she could muster, she told him she was leaving. She couldn’t live with him any more. She was tired of being controlled. She wanted to be free to be herself. His rage and attempts to force her into submission only drove her further away. Then one day, to everyone’s surprise, including hers, she left. She could finally breathe the fresh air of freedom that she had risked everything to earn.
But she soon found out that freedom is costly.
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I went on vacation this last week to Prince Edward Island. I had a great rest. The cottage we were staying in was very peaceful, on the Cardigan River. Splendid! There is a hummingbird feeder hanging on the deck and I sat out there for hours trying to get a shot like this one of the several hummingbirds that were literally warring over the feeder. None of the hummingbirds would let any of the other ones feed. As soon as one got close to the feeder, the others would dive-bomb it. It was a dangerous occupation to try to get a sip of the sweet nectar. They weren’t playing either. They could all eat, but none of them will let the other one.
artist. cartoonist. teacher.
