This is Jesse just before his health really plummeted about a week ago. What a frightening experience to see your son, your baby, seem to get better, then suddenly tank. I’ve visited sick people in hospitals for decades and I’ve seen it before. I’ve seen so many people rally, giving their family and friends certain hope that things are improving, only to see their health suddenly erode until they finally die. So when Jesse seemed to rally, then rapidly lose all control, I was very, very afraid. I was so afraid that the infection that had possessed his body would run rampant and completely take over. I felt like I was watching some kind of Zombie movie unfold before my eyes. But the doctors filled him with all kinds of antibiotics, anti-virals and anti-fungals, and somehow managed to turn this ship from destruction to gradual health.
Jesse’s feeling stronger. He’s eating and drinking. He has his completely unorthodox sense of humor back. They took him off I.V. today. They’re talking about sending him home tomorrow. They still have no idea what happened. They have theories. They always try to find the simplest explanation. But in Jesse’s case there seemed to be a freaky convergence of incidents that culminated in his whole system going septic. Then, of course, one has to worry about the possibilities of CDif in his bowels because of all the antibiotics destroying even the healthy bacteria that the body needs. He’s taking Acidophilus/bifidus on the recommendation of a health and wholeness practitioner friend in Ottawa. Everything seems to be improving. He’ll be following up with some specialists in the next couple of weeks. He’ll remain on some drugs too for the next while. What a freakin’ nightmare!
I want to thank everyone for your thoughts and expressions of concern. It was an expensive two weeks and some gave us money to help cope with that. Thanks! Some bought me a beer through my blog. Others gave food. Some gave greeting cards, notes, emails and plenty of facebook messages. They meant a great deal to us as we went through this crisis. It meant a lot to Jesse too. So, humbly and gratefully, I say, Thanks! Even though I’ve kept trying to post my daily cartoon and a short writing, they haven’t been the very best. I hope to get right back at it if Jesse comes home tomorrow.
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Even though Jesse is 20 years old, he’s still our baby. I always used to think that once your kids grew up and left home that all your worries were over. I learned fast that isn’t the case at all. In fact, there problems and issues become more serious and worrisome. It is sad to see a vibrant, active and healthy young man laid up like this. They’ve finally moved Jesse to an internal medicine ward where doctors are more frequent. Yesterday he started to show some improvement. He’s on antibiotics, anti-virals and anti-fungus medications. They are trying to get yogurt into him to replace the good bacteria that all these treatments have knocked out of him. The nurses and doctors are great. We were off to a rough start but I’m sure we’ll finish great together.
Even though I felt out of it yesterday, my community showed awesome support, expressing concern, praying, giving gifts, offering help. I’m happy to belong to such a community. I don’t know how we would be doing without them. Thanks to everyone. We’ll keep you posted. There’s no wifi or internet connection at the hospital, so my updates are sporadic and infrequent, but I’ll do my best.
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I believe that the institution is one of the favorite embodiments for the principalities and powers. I’ve seen it here in the hospital like I’ve seen it in the church as well as other institutions we all are in contact with, such as the Government, the Post Office, Banks, Education, Law, the Family, the Army, etc…
Although most institutions would say, “We are here for you!”, this isn’t necessarily true. Although this might be their stated reason for existence, this often isn’t their operating or presenting reason for existence. The Post Office’s purpose is to deliver mail to our citizens. But you get the impression that the real reason they exist is to provide employment, benefits and protection for it’s employees. But even then, the employees and their unions have the impression that the real reason for the Post Office is to provide wealth, comfort and security for the company and its owners. The same applies to the Army. Sometimes you wonder if it is not to secure peace and security in its own land, but to provide employment, to create new sources of income, and to generate and secure wealth and natural resources to entrepreneurs, contractors and the government in its own homeland. And if you’ve ever appealed to the government branch of Employment Services or needed to talk to a social worker, you know the frustration of trying to receive help from a completely adversarial system. And everyone knows that in almost every country the Immigration Department is almost always adversarial.
The hospital’s stated purpose is to heal people. But the impression some patients and their families get is that the real reason for the health system to exist is to provide employment, benefits and protection for its employees. This is why many people feel like they are intruding when they complain of their maladies. The very tangible misuse of power is obvious. Read More
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I’m exhausted. Lisa and I have been staying at the hospital on shifts with Jesse. Our semi-normal lives have been suspended while we try to get Jesse back to health. You might ask why the parents of a 20 year old man have been babysitting him 24/7. I’ll tell you. In a nutshell, we’ve had to advocate for him and decent basic care every step of the way. It’s been a grueling battle.
He began feeling ill last Thursday night. That was the last time he ate or drank anything. Lisa took him into emergency Saturday because he said he couldn’t swallow. After 10 hours, they sent him home. He was worse Sunday, so Lisa took him in again. This time they kept him in emergency. They decided he was septic and put him on heavy doses of antibiotics. But his main complaint, the painful throat and stomach, wasn’t addressed. They gave him antacids. But he said he couldn’t swallow them. “Well, let them dissolve and swallow that!” “But I can’t swallow! Not even my own spit!” “Well, then there’s nothing we can do, is there!?” Finally, on Monday, they admitted him into the hospital. He was moved from the insanely chaotic emergency ward to another ward. He still hadn’t seen a doctor to address his complaint that got him in here. However, there were no beds available on that ward, so this 6′3″ young man was left on a stretcher and rolled into a treatment room on a physical therapy unit. Then the real fun began. Read More
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I am absolutely exhausted again today. One of our young couples, good friends of mine and part of our church, found out earlier this week that the baby she was carrying had died inside her. So last night she was scheduled for a DNC. I went in with her mother and met the young woman in emergency with her husband. They wanted us to stay with them, so we did. We talked the whole evening away, trying to help distract her from her pain. The emergency room was insane. As always, the staff was overworked and understaffed. Things kept getting postponed and postponed until she was finally tentatively promised midnight. At 12:25 a.m. she was wheeled into the operating room. Less than an hour later we were by her side to comfort her. She was already waking up and talking. This family has been through so much in the past couple of months it’s crazy. This young couple is devastated. There are no words! They told me that for Lent they’re giving up hope. I get that.
I finally got home at 2:30 a.m. Lisa and I talked over a drink until nearly 4 a.m. We are overcome with the level of loss and grief our church is suffering right now. Being a pastor is that: being. It’s not a nine-to-fiver. The other day, someone told me that they heard a preacher say that 2007 is going to be the year of the Lord’s favor. I said I’ve heard that every year now for a decade. Jesus said that he proclaimed the year of the Lord’s favor. It is NOW. Every year is. Like it or lump it! Right now I feel like having a huge, fattening breakfast. Something fried!
A friend of mine got two tickets to the Saint John Annual Wine Fair. He’s taking me because his wife doesn’t like red wine. I’m his date! We went last year and had a blast. I’m looking forward to it. Hundreds of wines to try. Lisa’s taking us there, dropping us off and picking us up when it’s over for reasons that don’t need explaining.
PS: I want to thank everyone for your wonderful comments, thoughts and prayers on my blog. I read every one of them and try to respond personally to every one of them. I honestly appreciate you all.
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A friend died Sunday night. I was with her in the hospital room Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Here’s a list of suggestions for those visiting the dying and their loved ones in hospitals. This is mostly for the loved ones in the room, and most of it assumes that the dying is unconscious. Kerry slipped into a coma as the weekend progressed, so even though we were ultimately sensitive to her, their were concerns for the family and friends who were there that this list addresses. I’ll assemble another list of suggestions for being with a dying person who is conscious to the end. Hope this one helps!
- I don’t care what I’m doing, when I get the call that so and so is dying, I drop it and go. I don’t say, “I’ll be there as soon as I’m finished Grey’s Anatomy.” Drop and go! They’ve called you or you’ve been informed probably when they couldn’t possibly wait any longer to let you know. Get there! Everyone will understand. It is an honor that they’ve remembered to tell you and that they want you there or think you should be there. Unless of course you are Jesus… then perhaps you can get there late and raise them from the dead. Read More
David Hayward is a pastor artistically stripping to the essential.
