These handsome devils are my son, Jesse, on your left, and Murray on your right. Murray turned 19 yesterday. He’s legal drinking age now. We love Murray. He comes from a broken home. He’s at our house a lot. I’ll wake up in the morning and discover Murray sleeping in our spare room. He likes it here. We like him here. We had a huge meal of grilled burgers and my mom’s potato salad, which totally rocks. We had some beers too. Then we lit him a cake and gave him presents: McDonalds’ certificates, shirts, movie money, and a huge bottle of Colt 45… “strong beer”. He laughed and laughed because he likes to drink this once in a while. Then we watched A Mighty Heart. It was a happy evening.
I just don’t know how to “do” church anymore. In fact, I don’t want to do church anymore! I’m done. I’m not done with my friends, the people I am among, the people who call me their pastor. I’m not done with Jesse’s non-church-going friends who call me “pastor dave” as a joke. I’m not done with Casile’s friends who talk with us about their love lives. I’m not done with them. I’m so into them it hurts.
But I’m done with doing church. You don’t do church. If you’re doing church, then you’re not doing church. And I’m not trying to be Zen. This isn’t a koan. It is fact. You can’t do church anymore than you can do family. Can you imagine if I woke up Saturday morning and announced to Lisa and the kids, “Okay, we’re going to do family today!” They’d think I’d finally lost it. They’d groan and complain and hate us for forcing them to play a part in a play they have no interest in. But what if I got up Saturday morning, like we sometimes do, and we started the fresh ground coffee, started grilling the bacon and mixing the blueberry pancakes? What if we set it all on the table and just sat down to eat when it was ready? What if we then decided to go to the mall to spend some of the money they’d made that week on cds and clothes? Then we happened to notice that there was a movie playing at the theater, so we took it in. Then we went back home and everyone dispersed and went their own way to maybe reconnect if we’re lucky just before we go to bed? What if that happened? We weren’t doing family at all. Not even subversively!
Or how about another Saturday where I get up and paint, Lisa gets up and goes for a walk with a friend, the kids sleep in until 2pm, and we might pass each other at supper time, or maybe not. At the end of the day we are what we are. This is what is real.
This is how I see community. We get together and be what we already are without trying or pretending or even planning. Sometimes it is ideal. Sometimes it sucks so hard you die of boredom. I’ve seen this over and over again. I mean, if Lisa and I planned an ideal Saturday like I mentioned above, it just wouldn’t happen, mainly because the kids wouldn’t be the least bit interested in fulfilling our plans for them. If it happens, great! If not, whatever! Maybe another time. Maybe not. But we’re still a family. I just refuse to “do” it.
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Hey everyone. Here’s just one photo from my birthday party the other night. It was amazing. Thanks to all who came. Food, wine, laughter and engaging conversation was in abundance. At one point there were over 75 people, and many came and went. Wish you could’ve been here. I’ve got more photos I’ll show tomorrow. Today’s thanksgiving and I’m quite busy with family, so see you tomorrow!
Well, it’s time to announce the winner of this contest I held to celebrate my birthday. The woodcut, handmade and hand-painted by me, goes to Kamsin Alexander over at Fearfully Made. If I remember right, she teaches English as a Second Language and lives in the UK. I’ve contacted her by email to inform her of her win! Congratulations Kamsin! And thanks everyone for your generous comments. 150 comments! Wow! Stay tuned for some pics from my birthday party a little later. It was unforgettable and lots of fun. Thanks again everyone!
My birthday party last night was fun. Incredible! And I want to thank everyone. Because today is my birthday, I decided to give away a free painting. GO HERE to find out how to win it, and make a comment on that post! And if you want to give me something for my 50th, you are free to click the “if you liked this post, buy me a beer”. Trust me, it will be appreciated! Contest closes tonight midnight Atlantic Time. Good luck!
If you like this post, or if you'd like to use it, consider buying me a beer.
Because it is my birthday tomorrow, I decided to give away a free painting. GO HERE to find out how to win it, and make a comment on that post! And if you want to give me something for my 50th, you are free to click the “if you liked this post, buy me a beer“. Trust me, it will be appreciated! I’m saving up for something special. Contest closes Sunday midnight Atlantic Time. Good luck!
If you like this post, or if you'd like to use it, consider buying me a beer.
Hey everyone! My 50th birthday is this Sunday. We are celebrating here at my house Saturday night, starting at 7:30pm. Everyone is invited. I thought I would give something away for my birthday. So all you have to do is make a comment on this post of any kind. Even “nice picture” or “happy birthday”! Anything! And your name will be entered into a draw to win this ORIGINAL HAND-PAINTED WOODCUT, created by me! It is 5″x7″ and depicts a maple tree in my back yard, backlit with the Northern Lights. Your name will only be entered into the draw once, no matter how many times you comment. OH! A couple of you have asked what you could give to me: how ’bout putting some $$ into my Paypal account? That would be cool. Just click on the “Buy Me A Beer” at the bottom of this post. The contest will close at the end of my birthday: Sunday midnight Atlantic Time. Good luck!
This man is turning 50 on October 7. As his landmark birthday approaches, he finally realizes the empty futility of the accumulation of knowledge. He has sought hard and relentlessly for at least 30 years, seeking the truth, longing for the correct formula, craving the perfect key to unlock the mystery of life with all its suffering, struggles and sorrows. Even his ideas of God and religion have grown heavy and wearisome to him. He feels as though he is in a small boat on a mighty river and is about to round a difficult but necessary turn. There is resistance. There are currents that would discourage him from rounding the point. But the greatest obstacle is his own reluctance to die to all that has gone before. He has discovered already with the incredible sorrow that weighs upon him that there is nowhere to turn from it. It is on all sides. There is no magical thinking to assist his escape. But to see this, to recognize this, is the beginning of his liberation. He now sees that his attachments and dependencies have prepared the actual soil in which sorrow grows. He sees in dying to all these, as he rounds this treacherous point, that liberation and love will flow freely beneath his feet.
The fine art photograph is the creation of my friend Jorgen Klausen, and is from his Mask series.
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David Hayward is an artist trapped in a pastor's body, stripping to the essential.
