Many people are tired of doing church in the same old way (point A). Some seem to appreciate the way we are doing church here (point B), and wonder how they can get from point A to point B.
First of all, I want to assert that if these people moved here and became a part of our church, they would in soon realize that there is nothing spectacular about it. There is nothing to boast and nothing to reproduce. Like I continually tell people, I spend most of my time deconstructing, preventing things from happening, and resisting success. I am constantly reprimanded for our church being self-sabotaging in that we continually seem to undermine strategies that might guarantee some measure of stability and even growth. Believe me, there are times we would love successful growth with its stability and all that it provides, but when we are at my best, we resist these temptations.
What I can say is that, as a church, we are pretty much stripped bare of goal, vision and agenda. We can say, for the most part, that we don’t coerce, manipulate, or control people. People are free to come and go as they are and as they please. It is a completely voluntary assemblage with no expectations placed upon it. We do not prescribe beliefs or lifestyles. If people come with agendas or some people develop agendas, they don’t seem to last. Their sense of what a church “should be” gets frustrated.
Lisa and I have been married for almost 30 years. We have a rich relationship. If other couples who wanted to have a good relationship came to us to learn how, we could give some pointers. We could even allow them to observe us for a while (within limits). But I’m confident that in time they would start asking, “What’s the big deal?” There’s no magic or tricks or formulas. It’s mostly mundane commitment and tenacious hard work. Same with our church community. There’s no magic, no flash, no tricks, no formulas, no big attraction. Our worship music is raw and unprofessional. The preaching and teaching is unrefined, crude and informal. Our community is made up of a diverse mixture of regular people. We aren’t a big deal.
Therefore, even though you might want to deconstruct your church, it ain’t pretty. However, I think it is worthwhile and even necessary if we are to become more free and more human, and if we want to discover what true community and love is. So, I’m thinking I might blog for a while on how our church has deconstructed over the years. It is a wild and fascinating story, and many feel it is a story that needs to be told. So stay tuned!
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I frequently get emails from pastors wondering how they can get their church from running like a machine to looking like a functional family. They wonder how to get from where they are to where they think my church is (I plan on writing more about that tomorrow, which is a whole other issue). I would call this process the deconstruction of the church. Be mindful that we’ve gotten to where we are today after 12 years and tons of continued disdain, ridicule, opposition and rejection. Anyway, here’s 10 suggestions I’ve quickly strung together for a start:
- Determine in your heart that you will do all things out of love, compassion and patience.
- Make sure this is what you want no matter what the cost (because often the cost is high).
- Are there any leaders or elders who are in agreement with you and will endure with you for the long haul?
- Start speaking honestly about what you are feeling and thinking. Begin with your closest group and move out to the whole community.
- Allow people to see you at your weakest. Then allow them to reveal themselves at their weakest.
- Let things die that require coercion, manipulation, begging or controlling others in order to live and continue on.
- Welcome diversity in belief, thought and lifestyle (they are already diverse, you are just welcoming its open expression).
- Change the teaching/ preaching time to a shorter teaching time with discussion following. This is scary at first, but you’ll get used to it and eventually prefer it. This levels the playing field really fast.
- Challenge only those who are judging, abusing, and controlling others.
- If people decide this is not for them, bless them as they go (because they will eventually go).
Maybe tomorrow I’ll post about why I find such requests on how to do this rather bizarre. It’s been a difficult road that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. Unless, of course, this is what they really, really want.
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I know fundamentalists. This tee is a testimony to some I know who are willing to relax their dogmatic beliefs for the sake of love. They come across as stubbornly dogmatic, but when a crisis arises, their gentleness and openness takes precedence. Grace, for these fundamentalists, trumps doctrine. Then there are some other fundamentalists I know who are dogmatic and hard through and through. Even in the most heart-wrenching situations, they seem coldly indifferent. I am convinced that religion or faith is not the problem, but the fundamentalist mindset in all its forms, whether in a religious, non-religious, scientific, political, intellectual, cultural or atheistic context. It is the mindset that is willing to reject, expel, alienate or even destroy those who disagree or differ.
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Some of you might remember this cartoon from August 3, 2009. This is the way it should have been drawn. This is what this blog is about.
Contributions to nakedpastor are greatly appreciated.
- More people have left the church and I’m sad about it.
- I took another pay cut.
- I continually question whether I am good or bad for this church.
- The surface of my life is full of struggle.
- I feel like I am becoming more true yet more offensive at the same time.
- I am a deconstructionist and question everything.
- I am passionate about church but sometimes doubt it can become what it is.
- If some saw my atheistic, heretical, unorthodox, heterodox side, they’d choke.
- I have seen and it makes sense to me, but I have serious difficulty articulating it.
- I’ve never felt more peace, joy and love in the core of my being than I do now.
David Hayward is a pastor artistically stripping to the essential.
