Meet Ang. She’s a good friend of my friend Sarah. Sarah loves her so much because she can just be herself around her. No pretension or tension. Just ease. Ang lets Sarah grieve at her own pace, rage at her own decibel level, and cry on her own schedule. When Ang comes to visit, they just sit around in silence, talking once in a while, sharing smokes and beers. Ang is sweet. Very.
I’ve been thinking lots about friends lately. Jesus wanted his friends with him when he went through his own dark valley and as he approached his suffering and death. He wanted them with him for his last meal. I want my friends with me. Nobody can fix me right now as I go through my own stuff. It’s enough just to sit, listen to music, drink beer or wine, eat some good food, have the odd smoke or whatever, and just be together. They are healing times. I’m thankful that, as a pastor, our community’s come to the place where I can actually be myself, say I feel shitty, and nobody freaks. Thanks!
Today I went to visit my friend John who’s wife recently died. I brought him a tea and we just sat and talked. He asked me how I was doing. I laid it out: I’m not doing so good. Told him about my financial problems (I’ll share with you, Reader, some day), and my general malaise during this season of my life (I’ll tell you about that, Reader, some day too!). He just started to laugh. Uncontrollably. I started to laugh. We laughed and laughed for a long time. It didn’t make sense. No answers or explanations or spiritualizations. But I felt better. And so did he. That’s what friends are for. Often the best comfort is simply proximity. That’s it. I love my friends.
Contributions to nakedpastor are greatly appreciated.
David Hayward is a pastor artistically stripping to the essential.
FRIENDS are awesome!! They pick us up when we fall flat on our faces, dust us off and point us in the right direction again…as grim as that may be sometimes.
Friends ROCK..
I’m very glad to hear that you and Sarah are both blessed to have those special friends that are there for the good times and the bad.
You have made many online friends as well, through your thoughtful posts, inspiring art and fun toons:) You HAVE friends when you need them because you have BEEN a friend when they needed you.
Thanks guys.
Sweet sentiments…the end made me laugh because it seemed like such a cool thing to happen, breaking out in laughter. Friends like that are medicine for the soul.
The last thing that AB said above is KEY!
Thanks everyone. I needed that…
You have a friend out here in Vancouver
. I’ll light a candle for you. A tea light. My grandmother and mother in Saint John light candles in their homes for people, family, friends and sometimes just because.
I just ran to grab a tea light and there was none in the box. I have other candles and lit a votive for you and your family and friends.
Take care pastor
.
No man is a failure who has friends.
Another person to ditto AB
and to say that foul weather friends are the only Real Friends.
Ditto, pastor. One of the more moving posts I’ve seen. Was just wondering, though, if the NY Times front page tomorrow morning published incontrovertible, unassailable scientific proof that there was no god, would it diminish or devalue your experience described above in any way? (my answer would be no).
Terrence: I’ve often asked that myself. It is a good question that I will try to answer more fully tomorrow. But whether God lives or not, I’m tired and I’m going to bed now.
Terrence: You know, one of the problems that enters into our discussions is the weight that is given to science to either prove or disprove the existence of God. This may sound cheesy, but I believe science is a creation that helps us to observe creation. Therefore it is ultimately limited. Even without “God” in the picture, we must agree that our brains, that are the product of the very thing we are trying to understand, are horribly restricted in what they will grasp intellectually. Having said that, friends are beautiful. We can write moving things about them.
For me though, the deeper significance of my relationships is that they have been formed, sustained, and perfected by God. God is not like a picture hanging in the room, or even another person sitting in one of the chairs with us. God is more like salt that flavors a meal, or light that fills a room. No one can point to it, hold it, or even ultimately describe it. That’s about as much as I can say.
I have to constantly guard against being confrontational, because I enjoy these discussions, but isn’t “no one can point to it, hold it, or even ultimately describe it” a pretty good definition of nothing?
Terrence: You made my day by making me laugh. A good laugh. Thanks for your comment and for your non-confrontational sense of humor! You’re right. It is a pretty good definition of nothing. Which is why many mystics, etc., use the word “Nothingness” to describe God.
The only other pastor I ever heard of who was fond of music, art, wine and tobacco was Alan Watts. I just bet myself a leftover chocolate bunny you might be a fan. He also constantly made the point that “you can’t point to it,” if “it” is ultimate reality. Whether you use faith or reason or both, we’re never gonna “know,” because we are part of “it” — the eye cannot see itself, the finger cannot point to itself, etc.
I just wanted to also say that it is your “realness” and transparency and honesty that gives me continutal hope NOT to give up on Christianity, on trusting other people, and especially on trusting people who lead others. I do not have a pastor locally; I consider you MY pastor because you point the way to God by being real and true and honest. I don’t think there IS any other way to approach God. Keep it up, we are all connected…
Terrence: re the chocolate bunny… send to my address. I like Watts and consider him a friend, but don’t agree with all he says, of course. And I consider you a friend also. As Watts would. I’m presuming you agree with Watt’s assessment of the “it”. I do.
Olivia: Thanks. I’m humbled. Honored.
Ahhhhhhhhhhh friends, I have been honored. I have friends who are my family and family who have been my friends. Salue.
I graduated from Northwestern University in 1973, the same year that Dr. Watts, former chaplain there, passed away. I’ll bet we would have been friends. I’ll keep the bunny on ice, because consuming chocolate together with red wine is a sure road to hellfire, i.e., heartburn.
“I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work — I want to achieve it by not dying.” —– Woody Allen
Well, Terrence my friend… that is EXACTLY what I’m consuming right now: a Chilean red and dark chocolate. I have found that if both are fine, then there’s no heartburn. Go cheap and you’ll pay for it. Your mind and heart are broad.
HAR! More power to you, I’ve never been able to do it. Those Chileans and Bulgarian and South African reds can be good if you know what you’re doing- they are usually quite a price bargain. Which of Watts don’t you agree with?
Terrence: I shouldn’t have said “disagree” because, even though I’ve read him, I haven’t fully digested him. What I should have said was that I understood something Jung commented on about Watts… something to the extent that he became so immersed in eastern religion, that it broke something psychologically in his psyche that damaged him. Jung felt that it wasn’t always healthy to abandon one’s Western heritage for an Occidental one because our archetypal foundations can be destroyed and cause irreparable fractures in our personalities. It is known that the later years of Watts’ life were not pleasant, that he showed serious symptoms of illness. So, on the one hand… good for him! He broke some barriers and opened new fields of thought. On the other hand, it killed him. (hm… sounds like someone else we’ve heard about!).
WOW! When I was 17 I read for the first time Jung’s “Memories Dreams & Reflections” and was stunned. I never knew Jung commented on Watts, and am definitely going to research that. (You have any references or guideposts?) Yes, I do know that the same personality who penned some of the most elegant writing in the English language ended up quaffing a quart of vodka per day.
I think it must be true that it’s not necessarily a good thing to mess with you cultural archtypes. Now I’m trying to remember who said that, is it not strange that no Buddhist nun has ever had a vision of Christ, and no Trappist monk has ever had a visit from Vishnu….
I’ll try to find the reference. You know, you should run your own blog! You have a great sense of humor. Call yourself the “affable atheist” or something.
Well I would but there are so many out there, plus I don’t know the tech stuff, like
What’s an RSS?
What’s an i-pod?
etc….
retiring now, hope to continue this thread later….
WHAT”S a “thread?”
Dave: Come back and visit anytime…..I’m needing another tea (large, 2 milk, two shugs) and I could definitely stand another good laugh….thanks for the other one’ The closest explanation for that was some kind of soul vibration explosion. Oh yeah…..and thanks for you.