Fight Fair

Written on July 12, 2010 in thought

This is based on a very old post of mine. If we’re going to fight, let’s fight fair. Here’s a few rules I would suggest to my readers. Especially those who comment:

Be respectful. Don’t name-call. Don’t belittle others.? Example: “I believe there is a God because he talks to me!” “I always thought you were a stupid idiot!“
Focus on the issue. Don’t get personal. Maintain clarity on your view. Example: “If there is a God, why is there so much evil in the world?” “Ya, well, you’re Satan! That’s why, you stupid idiot!“
Stay on point. Don’t change the subject until you have dealt with the original issue. Example: “I don’t like the church and refuse to be a part of such an abusive institution!” “Well, you weren’t breast-fed enough! Let’s talk about that, you stupid idiot!”
Wait before writing. Don’t respond when angry. Cool off first. Present a reasoned response. It can be impassioned, but make sure it is not a knee-jerk reaction. Example: “I love Jesus because he’s my personal Lord and Savior!” “Oh is that right? Then why do I smell crap every time you open your mouth? You stupid idiot!“
Try to understand what others are saying. Don’t write people off, but try to understand where they are coming from. Walk in their shoes for a minute. Example: “In my opinion, God is your imaginary friend!” “Well, men are from Mars; women are from Venus. But you might as well be speaking from Uranus, you stupid idiot!“
If you don’t understand what they are saying, ask for clarity. Don’t assume you know what they mean. Example: “I don’t believe there is a literal Hell.” “That’s why I think you’re going to hell!” “Ya, well, I must already be there because I’m talking to you, you stupid idiot!“
Even if we argue ideas, try to respect and appreciate other people. Example: “I’ll pray for you, that you will get saved and go to church.” “Ya, well, I pray that you get drilled through the head with a meteor, you stupid idiot!“

Anyway, those are just a few rules to help us fight fair and to encourage everyone to stay in the game.

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David Higginbotham

July 12, 2010 | 5:28 pm

Good job, David. You’ve made some really good, and helpful point. It’s also helpful when these lists are presented with a recurring theme…yours was clear. :>)

Alex Grenier

July 12, 2010 | 6:07 pm

David, I am feeling convicted after reading this…”you stupid idiot”

Seriously, good advice. Righteous anger can easily turn to unrighteous anger…and sin.

Jesus our Christ did call the Pharisees out pretty harshly in Matthew 23 and elsewhere…”You brood of vipers!”

…kind of sounds like “you stupid idiot”…a little.

sangeeta

July 12, 2010 | 6:22 pm

I usually say the stupid idiot part in my head…………LOL, but these are very good points, thnks.

Darrin

July 12, 2010 | 7:06 pm

Dave,
Good post. But it’s more fun to fight dirty. If you don’t agree then you’re a stupid idiot!

Speaking of fighting dirty…. you raise the concept of hell. How have you, or anyone else on NP, dealt with or deal with hell? What do you believe? What do other readers believe? I have always been bothered by the concept of it even when I was an evangelical. I always had a way of either softening it’s reality or saying it surely applies to very rare and obstinate cruel people. (I use to preach that a person really had to work like hell in order to go there, and few people I knew could actually pull that off for a lifetime).

I never bought into the idea that people who never heard of Jesus go to hell. That’s an idea for stupid idiots!

Even secular organizations teach their employees what we teach our children; that when someone treats you un-professionally, rudely, or cheats you, that you should be the bigger person and respond professionally, courteously and in a warm manner. That’s not even to speak of forgiveness yet..

But evangelicalism asks us to believe that God (from whom we get the concept of being courteous, gentle and forgiving) cannot get past those offences and will ultimately get payback by consigning the person to final damnation for eternity (regardless if hell is full of flames or just empty loneliness). Do we really understand that word “eternal”? And that God cannot get over it? How does that square with the concept of teaching others to be a bigger person by forgiving as well as releasing someone from what they do not deserve?

What did you preach about it Dave, and what do you think now if you have changed? I’m curious.

Barry

July 12, 2010 | 7:09 pm

8. Accept that others have a right to disagree with even your most cherished beliefs, and that you do not have the right not to be offended. Example: “I don’t believe in your god.” “How dare you say something so inflammatory? You stupid idiot!”

Heather C

July 12, 2010 | 7:29 pm

Well written, Dave. I laughed. And got the point.

Tiggy

July 12, 2010 | 7:43 pm

I think example number Seven was fair enough. I don’t mean as an example, I mean as a comment. What the first guy said was really offensive so the other person had every right to be offensive back.

I’d better not get involved in any discussions cos I have post traumatic stress and am liable to explode at any moment without warning – even to me. This can happen when typing as well as when speaking. I also have literary tourettes.

Kelly Fryer

July 12, 2010 | 8:45 pm