This post is to inform you that I have released myself from my role as pastor of Rothesay Vineyard. This is with the leadership team’s reluctant agreement and support. Here is a small part of the “statement” I read to the congregation:
A change is upon Rothesay Vineyard. I have always put myself on the table asking for it to be clear when it was time for Rothesay to release me. I didn’t want to stay on as the pastor unless I was certain I was supposed to. I have specifically asked for years now that when it was time for me to go for the sake of this church, that it would be made clear to me. Recently, it became abundantly clear to me that I was no longer to be the pastor of this congregation. If you want to move into your next season, you are going to have to release me. This is plain to me. I hope it becomes plain to you if it hasn’t already.
I have become aware that I am no longer suited to pastor this congregation. This is my own personal admission. Many of you know that it has become difficult and exhausting for me, and my struggle only increases. My belief in and love for the church is greater than it ever was. It is my relationship to it that is changing. Please don’t take it personally. You should know how much I love you and you have blessed me in so many ways. But it has become clear that I cannot pastor you anymore. This church must go on without me. I have to recognize that if I want Rothesay Vineyard to not just survive but prosper, as I hope you do, then it will take another pastor to help you do that. My sense of call is just as clear to me as it ever was. Where and how is not yet plain to me, but I know it is without walls. The only right conclusion is that to stay here would not only hinder you, but hinder me.
My last Sunday will be April 25, 2010. Lisa and I will not be attending Rothesay Vineyard anymore, but we will be staying in the area. Our boys are working here. Our daughter is going to Mt. Allison University in the fall, and Lisa is continuing her nursing degree at the University of New Brunswick. I am waiting for clarity on what I’m going to do… besides blogging and cartooning here at nakedpastor, as well as working on my art.
I will fill you in as we go along. Stay tuned!
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artist. cartoonist. teacher.
I want to both console you and congratulate you.
I’ve been there…I remember vividly the pain of losing my faith and just how miserable I was for those years as it slowly faded away.
I never thought it would end.
I’d never felt so alone (I didn’t know others had been through it before.)
There were many times where I nearly ended my own life as a result of my desperation
But one day I finally reached the precipice of my life thus far and found myself in the understanding that I was me with or without God…and I was good…and the I loved people…and that happiness and joy are not contingent on God. I had not believed for a while at that point – but on that day I was finally free and I no longer mourned the death of my god.
You too will be free.
You will do well in whatever you endeavor to do after this. It takes a lot of courage to admit you no longer believe and a different kind of faith, faith in oneself to finally take the first step toward true freedom. I have too been there and I am here to reassure you that people like us are not rare and our humanist community is growing by leaps and bounds.
You are not alone.
Tay
I admire your courage and wish you the best. I hope your former congregation is an understanding one but know that you aren’t alone in going down this road.
Justin