Comments on: How To Be With Those Who Grieve http://www.nakedpastor.com/archives/495 David Hayward is a pastor artistically stripping to the essential. Fri, 19 Mar 2010 06:44:44 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Wendy http://www.nakedpastor.com/archives/495/comment-page-1#comment-3327 Wendy Fri, 02 Feb 2007 14:00:43 +0000 http://nakedpastor.com/archives/495#comment-3327 I have read this advice as someone who is finally going to talk to my pastor, 15months after my mother died. I was not brought up by my mother, so my grief is v.complicated (isn't all grief???). I found this info useful, as I am apprehensive about what he will say to me. I have read this advice as someone who is finally going to talk to my pastor, 15months after my mother died. I was not brought up by my mother, so my grief is v.complicated (isn’t all grief???). I found this info useful, as I am apprehensive about what he will say to me.

]]> By: Beri http://www.nakedpastor.com/archives/495/comment-page-1#comment-3213 Beri Sat, 27 Jan 2007 00:45:00 +0000 http://nakedpastor.com/archives/495#comment-3213 Recently, we had a double tragedy in my family. Thank you for such tips. It is so needful that during bereavement, friends and relatives do not add to the already grevious pain. A needful lesson for all to learn. Recently, we had a double tragedy in my family. Thank you for such tips. It is so needful that during bereavement, friends and relatives do not add to the already grevious pain.

A needful lesson for all to learn.

]]> By: Mitch http://www.nakedpastor.com/archives/495/comment-page-1#comment-3202 Mitch Fri, 26 Jan 2007 18:30:33 +0000 http://nakedpastor.com/archives/495#comment-3202 David - You've got some good thoughts here. Let me offer some related thoughts on <a href="http://mitchlewis.net/blog/2006/06/27/helping-friends-cope-with-trauma/" rel="nofollow">helping friends cope with trauma</a>. David – You’ve got some good thoughts here. Let me offer some related thoughts on helping friends cope with trauma.

]]> By: trix http://www.nakedpastor.com/archives/495/comment-page-1#comment-3100 trix Tue, 23 Jan 2007 11:15:11 +0000 http://nakedpastor.com/archives/495#comment-3100 Hey, you are beginning to "get it". The one point that I would add (as someone who lost a child suddenly and violently), is be there for the long haul. In my case, I found that everyone was there for the first few weeks (when I couldn't really cope with all the attention), but were well and truly gone by the 3 month mark when the numbness of the shock was wearing off and the reality was beginning to settle in. It is then that I really wanted and needed caring people around me. Staying away is the worst thing you can do. I can only emphasize point 2. Shut UP! Don't try and say something that will make it "better". You'll only fail. There aren't any "right" words, especially in the case of the death of a child. Trust me on this one. And never doubt that God can do some amazing things in the worst of circumstances. He can and he does. Hey, you are beginning to “get it”.
The one point that I would add (as someone who lost a child suddenly and violently), is be there for the long haul. In my case, I found that everyone was there for the first few weeks (when I couldn’t really cope with all the attention), but were well and truly gone by the 3 month mark when the numbness of the shock was wearing off and the reality was beginning to settle in. It is then that I really wanted and needed caring people around me. Staying away is the worst thing you can do.
I can only emphasize point 2. Shut UP! Don’t try and say something that will make it “better”. You’ll only fail. There aren’t any “right” words, especially in the case of the death of a child. Trust me on this one.
And never doubt that God can do some amazing things in the worst of circumstances. He can and he does.

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