I wrote this song some time ago to commemorate what for me was the end of a great illusion, or at least I hope most of it, in the efficacy of hype in our church life. When all the fun is gone, and nothing has gone according to plan, what is left? That’s what this song’s about. I’m singing, with Ellen singing background. Here are the lyrics:
Contributions to nakedpastor are greatly appreciated.ARE YOU THERE?
When I kneel all alone,
and the answers won’t come,
and my soul’s cold as stone,
are you there?When my mind’s caving in,
and my heart’s soaked in sin,
and my eyes have grown dim,
are you there?chorus:
I believe, I believe.
Please help my unbelief.
I’ll trust you, I’ll trust you Lord.
By faith I, by faith I hang
on your every word.
Help me Lord, help me believe.When I lie on my bed,
and the darkness instead
of the light fills my head,
when the feelings don’t come
that were promised by some,
and my life’s come undone,
are you there?
David Hayward is a pastor artistically stripping to the essential.
I really like this David. Thanks.
thanks Eileen.
Found this from Eileen
and am sending it on
Found this from Eileen
and am sending it on
thanks both of you
David, This ministered to me.
I didn’t think a good cry was on the agenda for today, but thanks to you, it was.
How many of you all out there want David to do a cd of his music, like I do?
After what I’ve heard of his music so far, I would pay $50 for a crappy homemade cd!
John T
This is beautiful. Very powerful, very sincere. I can totally relate to it.
AMEN!
Man, I love your music.
fishon
thanks fishon.
This is really good…thanks.
I like the music and the singing-both very good. I don’t understand what conclusions Christians come to when God doesn’t seem to be there. I’d be interested to know.
wow…these lyrics are awesome! simple and concise, while getting to the heart of the struggle!
But what about the struggle?
@Lynn – as I see it, faith is partly a choice. When you feel like “the answers don’t come and your mind is caving in” you again either choose to beleive or not. For me this song is about that deliberate choice of beleiving when it’s all crap. Similar to marriage – if you made a commitment, your spouse is your spouse, no matter what. It is these “stubborn” choices that get relationships through at times (if the relationship was a healthy one to begin with – but hopefully the relationship between God and man is such).
When God doesn’t seem to be there, I wait. I wait and beleive that He will eventually show up. So far he did. I know he will. ’till then I pray “Help me Lord, help me beleive”. Basically this is what this song is about for me.
How powerful. I sit here thousands of miles to the south singing at my desk in my quiet office on just after the third Sunday of Advent. Your words and music continue to feed me. As I stand before a small congregation to preach and pray I give thanks that others are filled with the same passions, questions, doubts, longings and joys. Thank you.
I love the feel of the song, but how long do we stay engaged in the struggle? “I believe, I believe. Please help my unbelief?” When I was in my 30s, this would have made sense. Now it just seems like propaganda. Believe, believe, believe….
arulba,
How long do we stay engaged in the struggle? I guess our whole life. Cause when I finally got the nerve to openly express my questions and frustrations with the Bible, a friend gave some pat answer and said “Just pray about it. The Holy Spirit will show you. Just believe.”
I’ve been doing that from birth to age 52, basically. It’s only been in the last year that I woke up to reality. Even people like me, who tend toward childlike faith to begin with, finally give up at some point and stop blaming themselves for the lack of relationship.
And do I want to have a relationship with someone who disappears and I have to plead for them to return? What kind of relationship is that?
I’m finally free from “the struggle.”
Hi Lynn,
Let me make sure I understand what you are saying. I was specifically referring to the struggle between belief and non-belief. I think that is what you are referring to as well? And so by the example of your friend who told you to “just believe” – she is essentially telling you to remain engaged in the struggle because it is impossible to “just believe”. If so, amen to that!! If not, my apologize for misinterpreting your meaning.
Faith, to me, has gotten a bad wrap by being associated with belief as the word has evolved. Now it means something like “compliance to journalistic fact”. But it used to mean something more like “exist with gladness”. (Be – “exist” and lief” “love/gladness”). There is no way to exist with gladness when you are trying to conform your own personal experience to a mere explanation of reality. So of course we struggle with belief (as it has come to be understood).
There are certain words I sometimes think we should drop from the English language because they have gotten so confused and have created great harm for many of us. “Belief”, when used in regards to “the divine”, might be one of them that needs to go. It gives Faith a bad wrap. Faith is Trust – not in a belief. But rather, is Trust Itself. It’s usually our beliefs that keep us from being able to trust, not our lack of belief.
I get the feeling this passage in Mark made much more sense when it was said than it does, now. Of course, David probably is using belief according to the original meaning.
I’m glad you are finally free from “the struggle”. I was freed a few years back and it was an enormous relief to finally break out of that bondage of belief. But it revealed another onion layer that needs to be peeled back and so it goes, I think.
very impressive..!