Many people are tired of doing church in the same old way (point A). Some seem to appreciate the way we are doing church here (point B), and wonder how they can get from point A to point B.
First of all, I want to assert that if these people moved here and became a part of our church, they would in soon realize that there is nothing spectacular about it. There is nothing to boast and nothing to reproduce. Like I continually tell people, I spend most of my time deconstructing, preventing things from happening, and resisting success. I am constantly reprimanded for our church being self-sabotaging in that we continually seem to undermine strategies that might guarantee some measure of stability and even growth. Believe me, there are times we would love successful growth with its stability and all that it provides, but when we are at my best, we resist these temptations.
What I can say is that, as a church, we are pretty much stripped bare of goal, vision and agenda. We can say, for the most part, that we don’t coerce, manipulate, or control people. People are free to come and go as they are and as they please. It is a completely voluntary assemblage with no expectations placed upon it. We do not prescribe beliefs or lifestyles. If people come with agendas or some people develop agendas, they don’t seem to last. Their sense of what a church “should be” gets frustrated.
Lisa and I have been married for almost 30 years. We have a rich relationship. If other couples who wanted to have a good relationship came to us to learn how, we could give some pointers. We could even allow them to observe us for a while (within limits). But I’m confident that in time they would start asking, “What’s the big deal?” There’s no magic or tricks or formulas. It’s mostly mundane commitment and tenacious hard work. Same with our church community. There’s no magic, no flash, no tricks, no formulas, no big attraction. Our worship music is raw and unprofessional. The preaching and teaching is unrefined, crude and informal. Our community is made up of a diverse mixture of regular people. We aren’t a big deal.
Therefore, even though you might want to deconstruct your church, it ain’t pretty. However, I think it is worthwhile and even necessary if we are to become more free and more human, and if we want to discover what true community and love is. So, I’m thinking I might blog for a while on how our church has deconstructed over the years. It is a wild and fascinating story, and many feel it is a story that needs to be told. So stay tuned!
Contributions to nakedpastor are greatly appreciated.
David Hayward is a pastor artistically stripping to the essential.
‘Deconstruct’ is not a very appealing word. It sounds too much like ‘Self-destruct’. “This church will deconstruct in ten minutes!” I couldn’t find another word for deconstruct. Maybe you could state the purpose of deconstruction and that would help me find another word. Most Christians are very wary of the word ‘deconstruct’ because it sounds negative to them.
Hi David, I have been following your posts for about a year now. It has been a disturbing, challenging, but also a touching and blessing experience. Thanks so much for sharing so transparently, especially stuff that many won’t like, stuff that’s stoill raw and untuned. For me as a pastor of a small swiss congregation that wrestles with the temptation and sometimes pressure to somehow be a “better leader” (whatever that is) on one hand an the whisper in my heart that tells me it’s not about me and not even about our church, reading your stuff brings a lot of comfort and insight. So I’ll definitely stay tuned to learn more about your story and in that process maybe learn to make a tiny bit more sense of ours. Blessings to you an all your loved ones!
I heart what you’re doing, but I’ve found the structure of “church” to be so… infertile for that sort of expression. Game playing/manipulation/whatever-you-call-it, seems to be so innate to that structure, that I don’t see your no agendas agenda surviving within it. Or, at least I haven’t been able to be a part of something like that, have failed miserably at trying, and therefore am cynical.
thanks jarofclay. nice to meet! hang in there. stay tuned for more.
hi em. believe me: i often have my doubts too. i keep at it though (stubborn or stupid or steadfast).
Maybe this is too dogmatic, but: sometimes I think that the only way for that sort of freedom to thrive is without trying to be anything at all, especially a church. We tried for three years to liberate our ministry from these kinds of burdening expectations, only to end up feeling like we were just ruining it for the rest of um–who in fact felt quite consoled by these expectations. Were we just annoying the standard? We felt like we had come into a fine dining restaurant asking for a hamburger and were told, “you can have a hamburger, just not here. This place is for fine dining.” We were just bugging the other dinners who were trying to enjoy their meal. I’m starting to make no sense. But now that we’re not trying to eat hamburgers at church, we find that we can have hamburgers where ever hamburgers are sold. Are we quitters? Cowards? Because it feels great!
I kind of envy your stubbornness or stupidity or steadfastness. But I just couldn’t do it anymore.
Em: I know exactly what you mean. The end of the story for our church and for me hasn’t been written yet. I and we may end up where you are… which is neither good nor bad. We are trying something and have yet to see if it really works. We are in the middle of deconstruction. I’m still not sure. Although I’d rather have what we have now than what we had then.
Hmm, that’s a confusing metaphor, Emily, because fine dining sounds so much more appealing to me than hamburgers.
I think that last sentence is key to not getting discouraged or trying to rate your success in pointless ways.
Agreed, Tiggy.
Fascinating. I have my dial set to your channel.
“There’s no magic, no flash, no tricks, no formulas, no big attraction. Our worship music is raw and unprofessional. The preaching and teaching is unrefined, crude and informal. Our community is made up of a diverse mixture of regular people. We aren’t a big deal.”
I suggest THAT is why the group you are with IS a big deal. Many of us have tried the ‘overcooked, professional’ worship music and ‘refined, cultivated and formal’ preaching and teaching, and found it to be unsatisfying, lacking in something, removed from what nourishes us.
For me, it might be similar to the difference between watching a hollywood movie and watching the local amateur theatre. The production may not be as slick, but the stories are somehow more real when the locals do it.
I’m looking forward to this story. I’m hoping it doesn’t stop the excellent musings and thought provoking cartoons though.
I like the hamburger analogy.
I am a pastor and I have been part of the fine dining worship experience: a lot of fanfare and you go home hungry.
Religious people do not understand “hamburger” churches. They can’t think within “the bun!”
Our church had a “Halloween” party for our kids last night. Trying to explain it to our religious friends, wasn’t easy. They asked if it was a “harvest fest” or “holy-ween.”
I admit, I lied. I said, “Oh yeah, that’s what we had.”
By the way, our people loved it. I think God did, too.
That’s all that matters. I’m not pastoring the world, just our local burger stand!
David, keep this discussion going.
Us burger people NEED it!
“When we are at my best”?
i’m utterly looking forward to this story…even as it continues
peace
Hi David. I am wondering how you would define the word ‘church’. What is church? I appreciate your honesty on this blog, but I admit I struggle a bit trying to understand some of the things you write.
Tom: What is church? Well, that’s a tough question. I suppose, on one level, it is the gathering of people under the name Christian. That’s as broad a definition as you can get.
Sorry for not being more clear David. What I meant to ask was how you personally define ‘church’. It seems that in your previous post about deconstructing the church that you actually are saying that what you started with 12 years ago wasn’t really the church and you are at least somewhere along the way to becoming the church. So you must have some idea of where you are trying to get. So, how would you finish this sentence: Church is……..
tom: no, sorry. i want to be clear. i think the church before was no less a church than it is now. i don’t care how great or how messed up a church is, they are still a church. my opinion. deconstruction involves stripping away all the non-essentials.
“what is church?”
Are there not some glorious images/descriptions of the church, given by the Holy Spirit in John 9&10, Ephesians, 1 Cor 12 (esp. v. 13), 1 Peter 1 & 2, 1 Tim 3:15 – 16, etc? With the supporting context around these passages, the shape, vision, goals, makeup, demarcations, qualities, leadership, priorities, etc. become delightfully visible. Differences in application abound, but ascertainable, useful, do-able “stuff” is there to glean. Are these some of the passages you are using to help re-shape?
Sherman T Potter
loved this post! i would join that church because that’s what i think church “should be.”
oops!
Thanks for clarifying David, although you still haven’t answered my original question
. I guess what I am getting at is unless I have a clear understanding from the Bible of what a church is, it will be impossible for me to lead a group of people into becoming a church. So much of what you describe in your blog sounds to me like a wonderful place to hang out. But is it possible to be what you are striving to be and still be a church? I guess that really depends on how you define church. Am I making any sense here?
tom: I do not try to be the kind of the church the bible tells me to be. That would be the most “unbiblical” church. We are a church, period. And we do not strive to be one. I compare it to marriage. I do not try to have a biblical marriage. Love (with commitment and trust) creates a unique marriage. To try to be any other kind of marriage would kill it. To strive to be married would kill it.
But what makes you a church? How do you know you are one?
We call ourselves one. And we henceforth trust that we are.
Calling myself an expert and even believing it doesn’t make me one, unless that is my definition of an expert (ie an expert is someone who calls themselves one and believes that they are).
So, getting back to my original question, would I be incorrect to assume that your definition of a church is “a group of people who call themselves a church and trust that they are one”?
Maybe a more important question to ask would be “Does God call us a church?”
Tom: I’m not sure I understand why you so desire a definition of church from me. There are plenty of definitions out there. Mine is very very broad. 2 people, in my opinion, can meet at McDonalds and call themselves a church, and in my estimation they therefore are one. Then, there are some people who get together and don’t call themselves one, yet act like one.
Tom: How would you ever find out if God endorses you? You have to trust that you are.
David, I am not sure if we are ever going to get anywhere in this discussion:) Your writing challenges me to examine my beliefs and values, even if we are in completely different places. I pray that you will continue to find growing peace on your journey. I will continue reading your blog and may even comment sometimes;)
Don’t give up so easy. I thought my responses were pretty fair. Glad you’ll stick around.
real question: does a commitment to the written revelation of God, and the boundary of the Good News of Jesus Christ fit into how one might define “church”? Or?