On my vacation I met with many people who have left the church. They are people I know and love. So from the start I want to say that these are generalizations. I do realize others might have more positive things to say. But what I hear from the people I talk with is pretty consistent. This is not my opinion. I’m not making judgments. This is just what I hear:
- When they’ve been gone from church for a while and return they are all shocked by the strange lingo that people talk. It is a coded and getto-ized language that no one else understands but insiders.
- When they go back more than once, suddenly there is a huge feeling of expectation that weighs down on them. They know that if they commit at all, they are going to have to meet certain expectations.
- Although few admit it, shame is an important and powerful tool used to keep sins, weaknesses, struggles and differences concealed.
- One quickly learns that although indulgences ended officially many years ago, money is still an effective means to earn rank, privilege and allowances within a community.
- One discovers almost immediately what the belief system to be embraced is. Critical and inquisitive thinking is generally not welcomed.
- Although it is rarely ever explicit, competition and the disdain for other religions and even other churches percolates through the attitudes, language and actions of the community.
- Orientation, condition and status (examples: divorced, single mom, living together, gay, addict, etc.) are the equivalent of brands that are accepted or not.
- If you come and go, in the end no one really seems to notice or care.
- You are expected to grow only if it enables conformity.
- Even though, if you keep going, you feel you are being knitted into the community, there is a strange feeling that there is something conditional about your acceptance and membership.
David Hayward is a pastor artistically stripping to the essential.
nakedpastor thanks for your comment – may I ask if my journey sounds strangely familiar to your own or to that of the people you listened to? Just curious.
hairyant: both.
nakedpastor thanks for your reply – I thought as much. I think I would be correct in that you are currently an active churchgoer judging by your site and nickname. If you have had a similar journey to mine can I assume you left the church at some point and if so for what reasons and how did you make the decision to attend church again?
The book of Daniel talks about the little book being opened in the last days. Check out the site http://www.WeCanKnow.com and find…from the BIBLE- alone and in it’s entirety…what has happened and will soon come to past.
And if everyone felt like you all feel, and everyone left the church…then what?
how about they rip out that page in the hymnal for the one named “just as i am”?
Nancy: Then we would find each other…in the laundry mat, the grocery store, and all the other places I meet the church. I didn’t get saved until late in life. I came from a horrible, dishonorable, backround. I was a drunkard, drug addict, morally loose, and homeless. The Lord has cleaned up all those things, however, there are still consequences to all that behaviour. I still don’t have a nice car, or husband, or children, and most of the time I am unemployed. The Lord literally is raising me for the first time in my life. I am probably at about the equivalent of a 19 y.o. right now; however, I am 48. Nonetheless, I love Jesus with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength. But the whole time I have been a Christian I have not been accepted into one church. Noone has even bothered to find out what my story is. They see the externals and just assume I am not a believer, or worse-cursed. It has taken a lot of time to heal from this treatment. I know however that Jesus has used it to keep me humble, and to crucify my flesh. I love to worship the Lord, I love His word, and I wish I could find somewhere to fellowship. I have given up as of now. Maybe you can pray for me?
Melinda there are lots of people at my church with backgrounds similar to yours and they are accepted as part of the community. Some of my friends have been alcoholics and drug-addicts and we tend to see it as an illness. I live in the UK, but I would have thought there must be somewhere where you can go where the church would accept you. Frankly, if they’re the sort of people who dont’ want to accept you then it’s probably not the place for you to go, though I would guess you have a lot to teach them. Why don’t you send the email you posted on here out to some churches? I don’t know much about churches in the USA, but maybe someone on here who does could respond.
Tiggy.