Have you heard the joke about the man who came to church for the first time? She was a beautiful church, and he became very attracted to her. She had everything he was looking for. They started seeing each other on a regular basis. After a while, he and the church decided to consummate their relationship. One night the man stripped down to his bare necessities and waited for the church to join him. He watched with excitement as she undressed in front of him. First, she took off her refined music and put it away in the drawer. Then, she took off its various small group meetings and put them away in the drawer too. Then, she took off her motivational messages and put them in the drawer. She even took off her mission statement and statement of faith and put them in the drawer. He looked in amazement as she continued. She took off her coffee and cookies and put them in the drawer. Then she took off her public image of success and influence and put that in the drawer. Finally, she took off her fine building and accessories and put them in the drawer. There she stood, naked before him, very plain and ordinary. He looked at her. He looked at the drawer. Then he said, “I don’t know whether to stay here or get in that drawer!”
When new people come to our community, I always feel it is like dating. Let’s admit it: they’re shopping. I have to acknowledge that we are on trial. It is so tempting to try to control our image. It is so tempting to worry about what if one of my people swears in frustration in homegroup… which sometimes happens. What if they discover that everybody in my homegroup is have been divorced except me? What if they find out many of us drink and some of us smoke? It is so tempting to put our best face forward. But I resist those temptations as much as possible. They might as well find out sooner than later what we are like. And I say “we”, because it is about the people. If they don’t like the music or the teaching style or whatever, there’s nothing that can be done about that. It’s finally about us. Will they quickly discover that this is about friendship, relationship and community rather than all the extras? Will they discover that they can love and be loved here before the details of how we do things is discerned or before they discover the diversity of belief and lifestyle that is represented here? Will they recognize, ultimately, that this is a place where they can be free to discover their own faith and explore how to live it uniquely before God in this world?
The fine art photograph is taken by my friend Mark Hemmings.
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David Hayward is a pastor artistically stripping to the essential.
Interesting…
A brilliant analogy. Now you’ve made me think…
If it were for me to decide I would add this post as a postscript to the Song of Songs.
I feel like crying. How I wish I could find a church that can say “Will they discover that they can love and be loved here before the details of how we do things is discerned or before they discover the diversity of belief and lifestyle that is represented here? Will they recognize, ultimately, that this is a place where they can be free to discover their own faith and explore how to live it uniquely before God in this world?” and mean it.
savvy: don’t give up.
Love it! Keep up the great thoughts and provoking images. I have felt the same way in our church. But I’ve come to love our diversity and seeing grace at work.
Maybe you’re saying the same thing in a different way, but shouldn’t you worry if they will see Jesus working through/in your church? That they will see a church that does its best to honour God?
Why would you worry about your image? I don’t know maybe I’m just used to the small church where I am. We don’t have any of those things in the list, except maybe a statement of faith. And those are good so people know you’re following the Bible. and lunch in between services, but that’s just for convenience.
I don’t know for sure, but we the pastor doesn’t seem to make particular notice of visitors, except to greet them, maybe ask them to his place for supper.. The only thing I know he’s concerned with is preaching biblically, and it doesn’t matter whether you’re a visitor or not – you can benefit from that.
We should worry about our image. At least to the point where our human parts of our institutions detract from Christ. I hear lots of pastors that are proud of the fact that they preach the word, but don’t pay any attention to whether their people are changed by the word. If they are not changed by the word then they are not preaching to their people, and in many ways that is worse, because their are inoculating their people to the word.
Brilliant post NP. Thank you for this. I feel the pain, and am sure I inflict it too.
Here’s to Jesus – thank God for him…
thanks jenny. no pressure. welcome to the group!
I wouldn’t worry too much (some maybe) about what people think, or expect.
Preach that they are sinners. That you are a sinner. That you are forgiven sinners.
Offer them what the world could never buy. The forgiveness of sins in Christ Jesus.
The Lord will do the rest.
Some will stay, some will leave. But the Word will go forth and the world will keep spinning.
Apophatic to the core, we are. Life “outside the drawer” is not for the faint of heart.
indeed
I think that’s why I prefer housegroups, because I don’t mind people being ‘naked’ about themselves when others can see who they are and where they are coming from.
It is Sunday church that I find difficult because you will have dozens of people coming from different places who will observe and judge everything that goes on without necessarily trying to understand what is really going on.
I don’t mind people coming and leaving but I guess I do fear that people will dismiss The Church as a whole, or even God, because of a few misplaced words on a Sunday morning.