Church Speed-Dating Sunday
You’ve heard of speed-dating. It’s usually set up in a restaurant. Singles sign up in order to meet new people. When it begins, a single meets with another single at a table. One single talks for one minute, then the other single talks for the next minute. They break up and move on to the next single. On it goes. Many insist that speed dating saves time, as most people intuitively know immediately if they are romantically compatible, and the first impression is often the permanent one.
So, here’s my idea: Church Speed-Dating Sunday. That’s right. On one Sunday a year, maybe the first Sunday of January, everyone’s membership and commitment to a certain church is automatically absolved. If they don’t wish to be cleared and desire to stay at that church, they must actively indicate so. Everyone else is liberated over the Christmas holidays. No questions asked! Then, on the first Sunday of January, every church in town runs 10 minute services every half hour from 9am to 7pm, depending on how many churches participate. Each particular church, understanding that most people are easily impressed and that if they are impressed this good impression might last about a year at most, will put on the best darn show possible in 10 minutes.
Now, assuming we might have enough people stay to pull this off, our church might do it this way: 3 minutes of worship consisting of the best musicians, with songs selected from the top 10 worship song list of the current week, and the worship leader will be totally pumped on a caffein patch; 1 minute offering while someone gives a testimony about how he gave his heart to Jesus and Jesus in turn gave him a million dollars; 2 minutes break with the absolute best coffee available as well as fine pastries with certain people practiced in small talk working the room; then 3 minutes of the most motivational feel-good sermon the pastor can possibly preach… I mean his or her best sermon he or she ever preached distilled into 3 minutes (yes, it’s possible!); then 1 minute prayer for miracles with accompanying signs and wonders. And everyone is dressed their best.
I realize in writing this that I’m giving away my strategy and that there are several other churches in this area who would do exactly the same thing, and that there are tons of people floating around looking for exactly the same thing. But I would add the secret ingredient: I would trust God and believe that he wants the best thing for me and my church. I would speed-date with faith. He would want me to succeed.
All those in favor say, “I do… for now!”
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You’re sharp today. Ouch!
Can I ask a question though, a genuine question?
Do you think there would ever be a legitimate reason why someone might leave a church, and do you believe God would ever call anyone to leave a church?
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Very Wittenburg Doory, nice. Here’s my “legitimate” question – do you really think there are tons of people looking around for this?
Love how you squeeze in the offering…can’t for get that…and only 2 minutes for the best coffee?! Can I carry it with me if I don’t finish it? …and when this is all said and done, you won’t use and abuse me if I say ‘yes’ will you?
Sir,
Giddy-up!
Yours,
Lee
Hey, I’ve got an idea…why don’t churches preach God’s law and his gospel and offer His supper, and let people will either worship there…or not?
I know it’s a pretty wild idea, but..who knows…it might catch on.
My congregation had been worshipping together for several years before we officially became a “congregation”. We had a service to commemorate the fact of us becoming a congregation, and had three “mini-sermons” – one from our current minister, one from the youth worker who had helped start the congregation, and one from the supply minister in the middle. The five minute grab from our (then) current minister was the best preaching I ever heard from her – or at least, a message I have remembered and reflected on often in the years since (unlike any of her other sermons!) So I reckon, less is often more.
sounds too complicated for me David…isn’t there a pill you cd give out at the door…but if I take yr hyperbole seriously,you must know a lot of restless souls….which begs the question: Is it better to be spiritually restless when searching for that perfect other(she’s gotta be out there somewhere) or is it a fool’s errand?
Hey why not just be Christian swingers, then you could have the best of all Churches.
give me a parking lot outside a bar, a bible, and a few folks that are hurting…. thats my kinda church.. oh yeah, ya gotta wear leather. (a starbucks travel pack would be a plus).
I love stopping by your place here. thanks.
Brother Frankie
A Biker for Christ
http://www.blogger.com/profile/17081661623967845655
I Kissed (Church) Courtship Goodbye.
Celibacy doesn’t scare me anymore.
Aaahhaha… top notch!
You are too funny! On a more serious note, though, I do know of one church in N.C. who one month of every year asks all it’s members to go to other churches in their city, bring their tithe there, and see if they might be able to find a better fit for them. I have to say I love the pastor’s approach on that one–instead of trying to hang on to the people, he genuinely wants to make sure they’re where they are supposed to me. I don’t know of too many pastors that tell their people to go see what’s out there and bring their money there while they’re at it! Refreshing, even if I don’t agree with lots of things this guy says or does….
i see that while you are “fishing”, you are picking up a lot of people who are being offended for God… i call them “bone heads”, but if they had not been stuck in their own paradigm they would really “get” where you are going and what you are trying to convey…
oh, and the Vineyard folks who are always fashionably late would miss every service, but they would have their coffeee in hand…
carry on causing us to think! (God did give us a mind)
This throws up the whole Attractional vs Missional/Incarnational debate doesn’t it?
One of the best blogs I have read on this is
http://www.backyardmissionary.com/2005/08/incarnational-v-attractional-mission.html
Give it a go and think about the issues he raises
Our pastor is quite open with membership, but he does prefer people to be a member of a congregation somewhere. For accountability/discipline reasons.
He’d never do the speed thing though – His sermons usually take an hour, because the Bible has a lot to say. And we just sing psalms mostly.
I do hope God has blessed you with a practical wife outherwise that creativity of yours will never touch planet earth!
travel to each church? that takes too long… this is speed church…. put it on youtube and toss some pics of the building on the website. maybe have a selected member or two available in a chat room.
hey dave, it’s already a reality here in parts of texas (a variation anyway). i have a marketing buddy who goes to each church so he can find cool new marketing tools to employ in his business…who said church was not all-that-and-more.
later man, k