One of the most difficult things to know when you are involved in a church is that it is not an institution primarily. That is what it is called when it is organized, instituted, businessed, and controlled. The truth is that it is basically a group of people in relationship with one another and with the spirit of Jesus. This is essentially it. Not only does this take the pressure off of me having to perform on Sunday mornings and present a production. It also takes the pressure off of people having to shop around until they find the best show in town.
Of course, this is rarely remembered. Especially when numbers are low, my mind stretches toward imagining new and fantastic ways of attracting people. And if the Sunday morning just doesn’t do it for me, I’m tempted to look over the fence for greener grass. Not much different than any relationship actually. When someone comes to me to discuss a difficulty they’re having in a relationship, and they say something like, “The romance is gone!” I usually say something like, “Well, that’s good. Now the necessary work begins!” But that’s when most bail. Honeymoons are getting shorter.
I’m not sour-graping or resentful about this. I’m just as human as the next guy. If we have a down day I’m just as inclined to want to throw in the towel. Until I remember that these are my friends. It’s them I’d be bailing on. What’s this “church” thing that always gets me so frustrated and depressed? It’s nothing but a label. It’s a label used to try to describe something. When I obsess over the label, that’s when I lose sight. The label is not the thing. The word is not the reality. The reality is the mutual love we have for one another. That’s where it begins, and where it ends.
The fine art photograph is the creation of my friend, who is also the gallery owner my art hangs in, Jorgen Klausen. The subject of the photograph is a friend of mine, who is also an artist.
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David Hayward is an artist trapped in a pastor's body, stripping to the essential.
david, i have been meaning to comment on a few of your recent posts but i always read in my reader & then forget to. i thought i’d take time and respond to this because i can so relate! the relationships are all that matter, and the truth is that real relationships, no matter how good, are a real pain in the ass. they take work. they are exhausting. they are beautiful. they are ugly. they require more of me than i want to give. they give me more than i ever expected. here’s to the long haul of mutual love. God give us the strength we need to not bail, to live together far past the honeymoon. peace, kathy
I love metaphors. I love to hold them to the light and twist them around to see the brilliance of the details…or to consider the implications of going deeper into the metaphor.
Yes, a relationship. But who is the relationship between? Christ and me or “the church” and me? Both? And if it is between a particular organized group of people and me, is it a dating relationship with the purpose of getting to know one another better before commitment thereby allowing both parties the liberty to check out issues of character and compatibility and faithfulness over the long haul? With the freedom to break up if either party sees too many or too large a red flag?
Or is being a member of a church institution actually more like a marriage to which I have committed for better and for worse? In sickness and in health? As long as we both shall live? And how do we know, or who has the authority to declare, when a church instiution or a member is “dead” in order to allow the living entity to move forward with life rather than sitting dutifully, tear-shedding and ring-twisting, next to a stiff corpse?
I think the “marriage” commitment is to Christ and to the body of Christ at large (other individual believers)–but not to an institutional church. Institutional churches and their programs, ministry opportunities and charitable organizations, denominations of all colors, quiet wooded glens, the blogosphere, concerts, rallies—these are just places that Christ and I can continue to “date” while married. Places we can spice up our relationship. Places that become sacred to us or places that we jettison because they no longer afford us the opportunity to grow to to contribute or to protect our relationship’s status as most important.
In my opinion, it doesn’t really matter where I go (or don’t go) as long as I go (or don’t go) with Him.
“When I obsess over the label, that’s when I lose sight. The label is not the thing. The word is not the reality. The reality is the mutual love we have for one another. That’s where it begins, and where it ends.”
Point well taken, David. But what about the Love that Christ has for us? Isn’t that, or shouldn’t that be the most important reason to gather as ‘church’?
To gather and encourage one another and love on another is great. We do that to a greater or lesser degree as sinners will do. Awesome! But more important is the announcement that Christ loves us and forgives us. That is the Word. St. Paul tells us in Romans 1:16 that “…the gospel is the power of God…”
Lot’s of people gather and encourage and love each other that have nothing to do with any church. That too is a wonderful thing. But, the Church ought always revolve around and be centered on the person of Christ and what He has done for us.
That’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it!
Thanks David!
“The truth is that it is basically a group of people in relationship with one another and with the spirit of Jesus.”
am totally with you on this one David, I wish I knew how to hold on to this, or make more contact with each other happen.
I just feel at the end of my tether longing for a little warmth, for a sense of belonging, trying to let the things that hurt me fall off like water on a ducks back. I try bringing the relational in, by asking for things like prayer requests. The truth is belonging to a church has hurt me as deeply as any family could have – and continues to.
so for me, looking at what’s happening in other churches is a need to escape all the put downs and exclusions I’ve taken over the years – that I wouldn’t dream of taking from any other friendships/relationships
thank-you so much for the words; these words were extremely timing for me to read after the day that I had or thought that I had at church …
you’re beautiful
sorry.
Another person sending along a thank you. You reminded me of a little fight I had with myself recently.
I learned that the denomination I’m affiliated with took a stance on a certain proposition that completely contradicts my own views. I immediately wanted to break all ties I had, but then I realized that wasn’t /my/ church taking on that view, that was the /institutionalized/ church, something that’s best ignored anyway.
Great post! Structures is an inevitable part of broken reality. But we can be in it and not of it if we follow your advice (example) and see the people behind the label and the bonds of love that tie them together-of wich the institution that forms as a result it is just a byproduct-often not even a good one.
Thanks for the post. You hit on something i’d been meditating on the past couple of weeks. I hope you dont mind but i linked your post on my blog.