Yesterday Lisa and I were in a business being helped by a young woman. We really liked her. She had a sweet spirit, was very helpful, kind and engaging. After a while, she noticed on the forms that I was a pastor. She was happy about that and quietly let us know that she was a believer too. She began talking to us about how difficult she found it being a Christian in her work environment. She struggles. She shared her experiences with her own church, other Christians, and the churches in the area and how divisive they are. She asked me questions about our church, our worship style and all that. I really enjoyed our conversation. It was, I think, a mutually encouraging encounter. We even talked about getting together with her and her husband because, being new to the area, they would like to have more fellowship with other Christians.
But the whole time we were talking I had this knot growing in my gut. Her theological and ecclesiastical position was obviously more conservative than mine. I could tell by the way she talked that she was used to a more traditional expression of Christianity and was comfortable with that. I don’t mind that at all. That wasn’t the issue. The issue was that I was concerned that she was going to find out about me, my blog, my cartoons, my theological position, my history and the history of my church. Stained and blemished at least. I was worried that she would find me and my church scandalous and wouldn’t want to associate with me anymore.
This kind of tension always brings me back to Paul’s wisdom in Romans 14:10:
Why do you pass judgment on your brother or sister? Or you, why do you despise your brother or sister?
The judgment comes from those who think they are holier than others, live more righteous lives and are more pure than their sinfully compromised brothers and sisters. The despising comes from those who think they are more developed, advanced and mature, beyond the law and freed from traditions and regulations. This is the problem with the Christian community and even the spiritual- or faith-community in general… conservatives who judge liberals and liberals who despise conservatives. This is the problem! We are either perpetuating this terrible cycle of division or we are victims of it. Often both!
This discomfort I felt while talking with this wonderful woman probably tells more about me than her. But my feelings aren’t unfounded. It has happened to me many, many times. I love fellowship with Christians different than I and work hard to create that kind of diverse environment within our community. But my experience has generally been that many Christians, usually more conservative ones, prefer to separate themselves from me and my kind.
The painting is one I did a few months ago that expresses separation from others.
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artist. cartoonist. teacher.
Being of one body and one purpose…Loving God, loving each other…we all fall short of the Glory of God…I formed you in the womb…
“me and my kind”?
You are a unique expression of God’s love…don’t stop being you David…for the love of God, my brother, you are not the Great I am, but by the grace of God you are who you are…
We (I) love you just the same…
Your sister,
~mp:)
David,
My wife and I have been on several mission trips and we resolved each time to raise support so that others could participate with us. We could afford the cost on our own, but we thought that this would be a great outreach to those in our lives. The problem arose when we made a list of people to send “support letters” to. We pick and chose based on our impressions of them and various aspects of their lives. We tried to pick people that could afford to give, mainly. What really happened is that we made up people’s minds for them. We never gave them a chance. God has a greater plan for us than we can imagine, and that often comes in unlikely vehicles. I understand that you take a lot of criticism for your stance. But please don’t make up that young lady’s mind for her.
The honesty you keep with your blog is encouraging. Thank you for being an open person before being an open pastor.
In Christ there are His and not-His.
If we start with the basis that He is the foundation and center of everything, in time we are able to set aside those differences of race or even perception just long enough to walk around the mountain and see the perspective of what others would see. God is the only one who can see everything as He sits on the top of the mountain. It takes time to walk around the mountain and create bridges though. Its hard, and frankly speaking uncomfortable.
We are His first, and He approves us. From there, His and His alone
You’re toast buddy–relegated to the burning stake!
Your sister in Christ,
~mp;)
David,
Thanks for sharing this — I think Aaron has some wise advice above about letting folks make up their own mind. Not everyone will find your style of pastoring or your fellowship to be their cup of tea — nor should they, because you and your flock are unique — as every “church” should be.
I’d encourage you to lean into your uniqueness — explore it, articulate it, and clarify what your shared mission and values really are — identifying both what you’re fighting for, and what you’re fighting against.
You might be surprised how many folks there are who are looking for a pastor and a fellowship just like yours! You might also learn something from those who do have concerns — things that either confirm the direction and choices you’ve made, and/or sharpen/challenge you and open up new possibilities… Would probably help weed out all the nakedpastor haters up front as well — saving both you and them the trouble and future heartache
Seriously, I’ve found that being as clear as possible up front is the best way to preserve everyone’s freedom and feelings…
Blessings
David,
I get that uh-oh-I-wonder-if-the-welcome-would-be-so-warm-if-they-knew-about-my-ministry feeling all the time. I wouldn’t wish that feeling on anyone, but I do find some comfort in your description of your experience with that feeling. And I plan to read and reflect on some of the excellent exhortation you’re receiving in the feedback comments. Maybe God might have something to say to me in there.
I will share with you that the last time I was whining to God, “Golly gee God I wonder if any of your kids will understand this ministry you’ve called me to and some people might hate it and tell me I’m nuts.” and this particular scripture just leapt off the page. 1 Cor 16:8-9 “For a great and effective door of opportunity has opened to me, and there are many adversaries”. The commentary/declaration of faith in my Bible for that verse says this: “Though there are many that oppose me, a great door of opportunity for effective service has been opened for me. Outside of my own choosing, there is nothing in all of heaven or earth that can stop God’s will and His work that He is performing in and through me.”
Personally, your artwork ministers to me. There’s something prophetic about it. Prophetic as in speaking the truth in love. If you preach like you draw, I’d love to hear it.
Shula
I wholeheartedly agree and relate to your experience. I’m one of those “holy roller, tongue-speakers” that some conservatives think are “from the devil.”
It’s funny, because I grew up convservative Baptist, and now I am Pentecostal/Charismatic. HAHA! I actually love having the two backgrounds, because I think I can have a balanced view on so many things….
I wrote about this in August, on my blog. It was titled “Baptists Vs. Pentecostals? What’s the Deal?” You’re invited to read it, if you’re interested. If you go to my blog, and click on “August” in the archives, you’ll find it. I’d like to know what you think…..:)
This hits home with me…A LOT!
I was raised very conservative and attended very conservative churches. But the folks that attend these types of churches bash the others that don’t agree with their “conservatism”. It works the other way too. More liberal churches bashing conservative ones.
Can’t we all just get along?
It’s all about loving God and loving others. Everything else should be very minor. I would so go to your church Dave. Did you ever go to St. Stephens? I think a former pastor of mine knows you.
Keep doing what you’re doing my friend. Go where God leads you and do what He leads you to do. I love your blog and your openess and honesty. Oh…and your cartoons rawk too!
Peace!
Keith
You wrote, “The issue was that I was concerned that she was going to find out about me, my blog, my cartoons, my theological position, my history and the history of my church. Stained and blemished at least.”
Maybe that’s exactly what she needs right now. To discover that not everything fits neatly into little boxes. To discover church as the fellowship of the broken. To reconsider pet doctrines. To be stretched. To be real.
It seems that no matter what steam of Chrisindom we come from, if we are carrying a cross, and i’m speaking literally… let’s say in down town NY City, you are going to tick people off, bump, step on toes, knock over, get stuck in people traffic, be cussed at, possibly get arrested for ensighting a riot… now try to get a cab, and the driver ( a jew) would say…”vvaatt you vant me to do vit dat?” a hindu wouldn’t let you lash it to the cab roof, the muslims would nail you to it and drag you behind the cab…
i think you have a lot less to worry about than just being yourself.
That’s really what people are looking for, they see enough plastic and have tasted enough dirt that is all around them everyday.
Aaron’s right, where they go in their own mind is theirs to do, it’s not up to you.
Be the breath of fresh air we all need, and keep on scribing, drawing, musing, making us laugh, cry, think, but most of all keeping it real.
…a lot of stereotypes there Lawrence
You know one of the reasons i keep my blog anonymous is because i fear repercussions. What if my friends and the people i minister knew what i really thought about stuff. I write on my blog what i dare not say in real life, except with a special few. My post before the election reflected some of that frustration.
If anything i think this a reflection on the deep division that are in the church and our lack of ability to dialog with those who have different giftings/political leanings in a meaningful way. In the meantime i admire those who blog with their own names and understand the compulsion to blog anonymously.
Don’t stop David, I’ve always admired your honesty and wondered to myself how does he deal with being so incredibly transparent, I am not near as transparent and I am tormented by people’s opinions… you have inspired people like me to become a little more courageous and transparent myself… months ago I would not have even left my real name on this comment for fear of repercussion.
David, I’ve always told you I enjoy your transparency. I encourage you to be yourself. I too have gone back and forth as to how transparent to be on my blog because I have experienced exactly what you describe and yes, it’s caused a few issues in the church. However, weighing it out at the end of the day, I’m much happier being myself and letting the chips fall where they may. Anytime I feel the “squeeze” from someone who is displeased with my blog and wanting me to change is extremely uncomfortable yet I’m just not going to fall into the trap once again in ministry to be in someone else’s mold or box. One of the things that was a breath of fresh air to me about your blog was that it was so different from other ones I read by people in ministry who just do vanilla sounding devotionals peppered with cliches. I appreciate who you are.
Much love from Tampa…….Deanna
Matthew 10:34-36, Matthew 7:1-6, 1 Corinthians 5
Take heart, brother. God has words for everything.
And I like your blog, even if I disagree sometimes. I try not to bash, too much
It’s refreshing to here someone who isn’t conservative, even though I think they (the conservative ones) should be (conservative).
I found your website quite by accident and am glad I did so. I’m what you’d term a conservative…no two ways about it. But…some of my very best friends are liberal. We have chosen to pursue our friendships because of our differences…although they (and your blog) make me uncomfortable at times, I also have to think…why do I feel the way I do, why do I believe the way I do? Am I better than you? No! Are you better than me? No! Can we work and live and love together? YES! We are two sides of the coin and I thank God for it! I will probably always be on the conservative side of the issues but am thankful every day for the way you liberals make me grow…I pray that I’m always open to the other side of the issues.
So, you must stay the way you are? Whether you like it or not, you are one of the people who keep me on my toes! Thanks…
I lean conservative for the most part, and my personal experience has been that most liberals that I personally know tend to believe a conservative is a hateful, judgmental and ignorant person. It’s a shame that we lump each other together like we do, and I think the fault is on both “sides”.
NP, you must be doing soemthing right, because you have a lot of readers on both sides of the coin who keep coming back:)
I notice in the seperation picture that if you look down far enough, the two cliffs or peaks, eventually probably meet at the bottom. Maybe with people that are seperated by many differences including theological such as the traditional vs contemporary, that if you look down deep enough, you’ll find a place where you meet or come together.
Tom
David,
A wonderful post. Would you mind if I cross posted it at EclecticChristian.com
I find that it captures part of the Spirit that we are trying to communicate at Eclectic Christian.
I liked this article. For some reason my server at work blocked this site. Its must have been the use of the words naked and Pastor in the same sentence.
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Thanks for showing us the naked side.
Stop by my BLOG but especially stop by this one:
http://spadinofamily.wordpress.com/2008/03/31/new-pastor-at-our-church/