I used to feel bad to say to the person inviting, “is this church related or are we just doing coffee and talking about life?” Now I don’t feel guilty because you know, I don’t believe God wants me to be trapped and so I’ll just ask the person point blank. Why do I do this? Because for years people would ask me to go for lunch or coffee and here’s what I would get once we were there for about 15 minutes talking:

“Well actually there’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about…”

“Ive been a little upset about…”

“You offended me 6 months ago when you made this decison…”

“Your husband hurt my feelings…”

“I feel you don’t like me because you didn’t shake my hand or hug me two weeks ago…”

or the ever popular, “I wanted to talk to you about one of your children…”

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! For a while this did make me want to say no to all invites but I do realize there are A LOT of pure hearted people out there who don’t try to trap you and just want to spend time together. So I’m not going to punish those people or myself from awesome fellowship just because some people don’t do the right thing. So now I just put them on the spot and ask, “is this just a friendly get together or are you wanting to tell me something?” Solves the problem. If they just wanted to tell me they hate me or have offense toward me, my view is, let’s do it right then and there and get it over with and then have coffee with somebody who really gives a rip about me.

But as one other commenter said already, this is definitely a reason pastors are skeptical when somebody asks you to get together. You often wonder what strings are attached.

Blessings from Tampa, FL ~ Deanna