Adolesence or Maturity
My thoughts are that we should not try to be anything special as a community. Lisa and I were talking about this last night. It is adolescent to try to be special, to just do things to be popular, rebel against anything that you don’t want to be, to fight for the you who stands where you are. I mean, all this is necessary on the way to maturity, but a sign of maturity is moving out of your uniqueness which you have discovered and embodied to help and serve others. “I got to be me at all costs,” is not the end. It is on the way. Compassionate love is the end. I think our community exhibits many signs of adolescence right now. Example: we won’t do things when they are expected. This is adolescent. Maturity is serving someone even when it is expected, or worse, even taken for granted.
It is very difficult to move from adolescence to adulthood. It means giving up what we think is our liberty, our self-identification, our radicalness, our selves. It means giving in, in a way, to the needs of others. Generally, adolescents don’t give a damn about the needs of others, especially if it encroaches on theirs. A mature person does care and will do something about it when presented with the opportunity. A mature person serves even when it costs something precious. To adolescents, the biblical and Jesus-like idea of pouring yourself out for others feels suicidal. For a mature person, an adult, this is the meaning of life.
My community isn’t yet at the place where it is being free, authentic and honest solely for the sake of others. We still care too much about ourselves, what people think, how we come across, and what we are trying so hard not to be. At some point I’m hoping our community will be able to say, “Ya, we’re special. Sure, we worked hard and it cost us dearly to be this. Big deal! Here, let me help you.”
The picture is a pencil drawing I did recently. It says something about being together, even in the darkness.
If you liked this post, or would like to use it, please buy me a beer!Tags: adolescence, adulthood, bondage, change, community, freedom, grace, love, maturity, naked_pastor, transformation
Some very insightful comments here today, and I think this way of viewing things will be very positive for you and your community:)
A lot of wisdom in what you say!
I appreciate how you tie “special-ness” to adolescence and understand that it is a necessary step toward maturity.
God has used your words today to show me that I am stuck in some icky,selfish ways in an adolesent zone. God’s paradoxical notions of maturity look at once like a dependent child and an un-self-thinking adult. And I’m not either of these. There are some parts of my soul that have set up shop in a teenage wasteland.
May God give your community – and all the rest of us – the grace to grow up/down. Thanks for this post.
I am an adolescent.
Thank you for the reminder that we are called to live in community….which necessarily requires that I offer up my ego to serve others.
PG
i am a mix of both. that’s the stark truth.
thoughtful and helpful post. thank you np.
I hit this spot a while ago. I realized it when I used to come home from work dead tired but needed time to myself to recharge. I took it no matter what and got very angry with those that tried to impose. That was my family. So now, no matter how tired, come home and spend time with those I have not seen. Give them the strength they need from dad or hubby. then see to myself. Boy is it hard on me sometimes though.
So much of our lives is lived upon the tightrope of the struggle (Romans 7) in anticipation of the fulfillment (Romans 8), that it’s useful to keep the ‘big picture’ in mind. The desire of Father, Son and Spirit is to weave into the very fabric of creation the knowledge of their grace and care, so that all things ‘know’ the love of God in such a manner that this love motivates and develops the eternal community – the Kingdom of God; heaven on earth.
We truly become ‘ourselves’ and part of one another when that purpose and will becomes married to us – in our desires, actions and everyday lives. Learning to allow, to ’see’ God’s will in the most common things of life – to truly live ‘Corum Deo’ – that’s where ‘maturity’ begins, and that’s, no doubt, why we often fall short. The good news is that there is grace which abounds to us in such times of need – that allows to look up and get up, no matter how often we stumble or fall.
Don’t know why a smiley has appeared where the reference should be -
the passage here is Romans chapter eight.
My favorite quote from Oswald Chambers’ ‘MY Utmost for His Highest’
(Sept 28, I think…)
“Jesus’ primary concern is my absolute annihilation of my rights to myself and my unconditional identification with Him; having a relationship with Him in which there are no other relationships.”
This attitude puts the ‘unity’ in community. (I’m not sure where the ‘comm’ comes from… hehe)
“I got to be me at all costs,” is not the end. It is on the way.
Thank God. Being “me” is pretty arduous when you’re as big a jerk as I am.
This is going to give my brain something to gnaw on for a long while.
Great post, Dave. I’ve been thinking about this since I read it yesterday. Great to see you at lunch!
good to see you too. we should do lunch. i’ll call next time i’m coming in town.
thanks for the provoking thoughts…i love the journey to maturity undergirding our journey of faith…and the maturity of ‘other-centeredness’…it makes me wonder where my faith community is…
thanks again