To be honest, yesterday was a bit hard. Our meetings start at 10:30 am, and nobody was there. I looked outside at the empty parking lot. It was a beautiful day, and I literally thought, “I’d rather be fishing!” This happens once in a while and I always feel a wave of fear try to roll me over. I remember just after the split ten years ago when Sundays like this started happening. I never knew from one Sunday to the next if we were going to make it. Sometimes I get the same feeling. We are sitting on a huge piece of valuable property and our mortgage as a community is very high. A third of the people who started this mortgage over 10 years ago continue maintaining the same high payments, so it’s very difficult. Bottom line: fewer people means lower income. We are house poor.
Some of my friends get angry with me because I refuse to use tactics to increase the community’s income: increase attendance through marketing (“evangelism”), strongly encourage tithing, campaigns of this or that sort. I won’t have anything to do with it. We just occasionally inform people of the community’s need and leave it up to them to decide without any kind of coercion whatsoever. I’d rather go down in flames without having manipulated anybody than live on successfully as a community by even slightly applying any kind of pressure. I don’t claim to be innocent, but my conscience is clear.
The attendance was low, but the meeting was good. The band and community sang for a long time and it was wonderful. I taught but the talk rapidly morphed into a rather lively debate. Very lively. I had to break a couple of people up (not really). I enjoy those times. It’s real, authentic, and awfully human. But I have to tell you, it is terrifying. We are riding on the edge of serious financial trouble unless something happens soon. Sell property? Sell the whole lot and building off and move into something more our size and more affordable? Reduce me to part-time? Fire me? Start applying for grants? I really don’t know. In the past, when we’ve gotten frighteningly close to the edge, someone spontaneously and surprisingly gives a lump sum or someone comes along and asks to buy gravel out of our back 40 at a good price or someone offers to clean up our woods and pay stumpage fees or something else. We never know and we can never count on it.
Strange though. I must say that even though I feel some concern about it, I’m not really mortally worried about it. The thing is, we are friends. And friends should remain friends even if the materials around them get blown away. And in the end, that’s what I’m counting on.
The pics a watercolor painting I did recently of an imaginary fishing trip I took in the recesses of my mysterious mind.
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David Hayward is a pastor artistically stripping to the essential.
continue praying…
God can see your troubled heart.
Let’s assume he does see: does he care? is he required to act?
Your art is incredible–I LOVE this piece, and your spirit of perseverance is inspiring–thank you!
i know that we will never know how God will react on your situation or any situation that all of us are into.
But atleast we can do our part by telling and trusting Him of our concerns.
Then leave the rest to Him
Let’s assume he does see? I am convinced that he does. I always try to pray for God’s will in situations like this. I do believe that will bring the answer, whether it’s the one we want or not.
The painting is beautiful. It makes me want to go fishing and I don’t even fish:)
Praying for you and your community.
You’ll be alright mate.
Sas x
The watercolor is beautiful and the description of circumstances was beautiful.
I’d almost always rather be fishing.
Sell the property, then either rent a smaller building (say a school auditorium or a part of another larger church that is not used every Sunday).
Or, just meet in various homes, (kind of split up the community) and then rent a large room once a month so that you can all get together once a month.
All these would most likely be less of an expense on the community and that would free up some extra offerings to help you out with living expenses, and the emotional pressure would hopefully lighten up, freeing you from the nagging in the back (or front?) of your mind…
…or, wait on God to give direction…?
Just my thoughts David.
Jesus had an awful lot to say about the way we use our money and possessions. Seems to me it’s not so much about the community’s need as it is about the human need to give in response to a generous God… That’s how I approach stewardship – connecting it always to discipleship, which is where it rightly belongs. I don’t think of that as coercion at all. Just my two cents’ worth.
what do you do in your building that you couldn’t do somewhere else?
is it the heart and the hub of your community?
does it feel like an important asset that is well used?
would the building be better used by someone else?
is it a drain and do you wish it weren’t there?
does the building give you a sense of being a ‘real’ church.
would life be better or worse without it?
does the building help in the daily upholding of community life?
would you miss it? if so, why? would it be for good or bad reasons?
loads of questions occur to me. no answers. but i think the questions might be important.
btw… if the painting is a true depiction of the countryside around you, i’m not surprised you want to go fishing! beautiful!
i’ve always been horrible at raising money. i dont have the heart to manipulate either and i genuinely believe that tithing is not a NT thing. but being generous is a very NT thing. I teach people to be generous. And that doesnt just mean toward the church. But yeah-that helps too!
But I LOVE your art in this post. That is really awesome.
howdi davID. loooving the painting.
you guys need to come round and watch a scary movie this week. yup.
“does he care?” I think history shows that He does.
” is he required to act?” I think history shows that He isn’t and doesn’t always act when we think He ought to.
Your painting is awesome–breath taking!
Sorry to hear about the church woes. I remember those days… some of the worst feelings… all the time and energy that gets invested into the community only to be left wondering if it will have all been in vain. I am truly glad to have those conflicting emotions and wonderings in the distant past. I’m sure your perspective is different than mine on the matter.
I literally loathe the idea of a debate breaking out within a group of people. It TOTALLY stresses me out. I don’t care if my loved ones have differing opinions and all, but… I don’t know what it is. I guess I’ve seen differing philosophies separate co-laborers one too many times. I’m glad I wasn’t there (except for the music part. I probably would have like that).
Anyway, hope you find the encouragement you need.
That’s gotta be rough being an authority figure and having to juggle all that as part of your job. I think as a ommunity you can all come to a decision that will work on the behalf of those involved.
Beautiful painting. You saw and expressed that scene like no one else could have.
God sees. He cares. Is He required to act?
Well, He does, whether we deserve it or not. It may not look like we think it should, but when I have begged Him to rescue me, in some form or another, He has. I wouldn’t choose His methods (I had a total breakdown due to church problems last year), but I am amazingly satisfied with having been “rescued,” amazingly at peace.
That is a beautiful piece!
Hey…My 2 cents…Go fish…That’s where God is…not in some stupid ugly building…once again, just my 2 cents…later dude…
God takes care of his own. I have a story about it here:
http://myfaithdefined.blogspot.com/2006/12/conscience-and-will-of-god.html
I realy need to learn how to make links.
David
I was told about your website by an internet friend. Reading your bio, I can see why. We are similar in personality, although you have a lot more hair than me! I too am a pastor, writer and musician with a bent toward art. I am on the board of directors for an art exhibit called “Let There be Light” In the next two years we are scheduled to have exhibiuts in LA, Dallas, TX., NY, Seattle, and Christies in Paris. We’ve asembled some of the finest artist in the country with the purpose of entering the art world and sharing Christ. Ron Dicianni, Chris Hopkins, Thomas Blackshear, Mick McGinty, Michael Dudash and others have original pieces or are painting pieces for the show. We are excited but we are finding out how snooty the art world is. Even though we have the best of the best, we are finding a lot of cold shoulders. Any way, If it’s all right, I’d like to stick my head in here once in a while. BTW, I too am a pastor