religion and the abuse excuse

"Abuse Excuse" cartoon by nakedpastor David Hayward

“Abuse Excuse” cartoon by nakedpastor David Hayward

[GET THE PRINT]
This seems to be the standard attitude in a nutshell.

And it’s inexcusable.

SHOP

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11 Responses

  1. Ducatihero says:

    Of course this is about the “religious” in the sense of false teachers / prophets as opposed to true religion that Jesus talked of with caring for widows, and orphans – the vulnerable in society of whom he empowered.

    I love the way you have drawn this false teacher with his fly open LOL.

    “He has forgiven and restored me” yeah that old chestnut and it’s close cousin “the devil made me do it”. So, in either case nothing to do with an leader’s ego then he says ironically.

  2. Yasmin says:

    The unspoken words: “The victims? They don’t matter, but they must forgive me, too. Any pain or damage they still feel is THEIR fault for not forgiving me completely.”

    Absolutely unforgivable!

  3. SueBonner says:

    True forgiveness is for the benefit of the one who has been hurt, not for the abuser’s benefit. It can only happen when you acknowledge that what that person did you was hurtful and wrong. You also have to go through an emotional healing process. It doesn’t happen over night and it can’t happen if someone demands you do it. Forgiveness is a process of letting go of the anger and bitterness over what happened. Holding on to anger just eats you alive and does nothing to the abuser.

  4. Shazza tha dazzla says:

    A great cartoon David. A clever, graphic snapshot.

    For the life of me, I just don’t understand why that excuse is so readily accepted by the religious ‘moral majority’ and forced on those who have been harmed. It just doesn’t make sense!

    A case in point is Mark Driscoll’s invitation to speak at the Hillsong Conference in Australia. Not preach or teach though, but be interviewed about mistakes he made. As if he’s moved on from them??? A spot at the Hillsong Conference has been described as a “million dollar piece of church real-estate”, and Mark Driscoll’s smug face is going to be in the spotlight again. Giving life lessons???? God help us all!

    I just do not understand the twisted logic.

  5. I know Shazza. Incredible. Thanks for the compliment.

  6. Teague Frawley says:

    Actually, IMO it’s not the anger that’s at issue, anger at someone’s abuse of yourself and/or others is the healthy and needed response to motivate the abused to get out of relationships with abusers. IMO forgiveness in this context is simply the giving up of the felt need to hate and to get revenge. Anger on the on the other hand motivates healthy self-preservation and exposure of the wrong done.

  7. On the upside, at least the guy in the cartoon is admitting he’s responsible for what happened to those people. Some don’t even get that far…

  8. Ducatihero says:

    “True forgiveness is for the benefit of the one who has been hurt, not for the abuser’s benefit.”

    SuBonner, in support of what you say, I would see things a little differently in that true forgiveness benefits both the abused and the abuser.

    It’s conducive to healing and keeping a tender heart in the abused as opposed to unfigiveness which is like poking a shark stick in a wound and being conducive to a hardening of heart. With healing and ability to be vulnerable with a tender heart the abused can connect, belong love and be loved, knowing at times when to keep the heart guarded and when to push back in the interest of truth, justice, righteousness etc or to avoid certain scenarios and people.

    Forgiveness along with direct action towards the abuser is not about the abuser feeling comfortable. It powerfully engenders a feeling of shame in the abuser and whilst unrepentant causes them difficulty, pain even. that benefits them in preventing them from being immune to the suffering they cause. Such difficulty and pain demands attention. Either they stop with the abuse or they reap the consequences of their continuing abuse.

  9. I’ve seen a ton of abusers who are “forgiven” who feel no shame at all. Ever.

  10. Ducatihero says:

    I hear you David, and that is tragic for them for the loss of relationships they have for not coming to their knees about their conduct and changing but instead being unrepentant. Also for victims who are then left with the choice of either remaining in situations where they are being abused or to leave with painful consequences either way through no choice or fault of their own.

    One can forgive and take direct action that is conducive to an abuser feeling shame so you are right, it doesn’t always happen, than you for making that clear, I was slightly of track with what mentioned about that above. However forgiveness and direct action is not about making an abuser comfortable, there will naturally experience discomfort and as long as they are unrepentant will result in difficulty for them.

    It’s powerful.

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