I wrote this poem soon after I left the church all of a sudden two years ago.
It pretty much says it all.
My hopes are still not realized.
weeping and gnashing
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My name is David Hayward, and I am the nakedpastor. I am a graffiti artist on the walls of religion.
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Yes, felt that way.As long as I kept my mouth shut and looked pretty, everyone was happy with me.
It says something about how dysfunctional a relationship has become when the only to be heard is to leave the conversation and the relationship.
Truly prayed in the spirit of the Psalms.
The imagery of all the words is wonderful, but the last stanza really got to me. I met up with an old college friend last weekend and it dawned on me how far we had grown apart–how estranged and strained those old relationships have become. There was no true you, there was no true me. It feels more like chasing polite shadows. Facing that inevitable goodbye is traumatic, however this new found clarity is giving me strength to move forward.
Hold on to your strength, David. Thank you.
We do want what we want…don’t we.
i’m not sure what you mean steve, but i suspect and detect sarcasm.
Actually, none.
We really do want what we want. We want to do it…our way.
I see it in my own life and I see it in all those around me.
I do believe this is why we need a Savior.
Great poem David! The last verse especially resonates with me, it describes exactly what I always longed for in the church/Christian community but never found. However, I have found it now but completely outside of any Christian context. I’m happy that it exists in the world but it makes me sad that it somehow eludes the Christian church.
@David Eastham… your words totally resonate with me. The connection has been severed and the differences keep me miles apart from previous ‘friends’ and there is no meeting.
@David Hayward… the words you have written on this drawing show how raw we are at the separation and I realize there is a longing in me (and I think in you too) to have fractured relationships mended…I hope I haven’t mis-read your intent. Your final verse really sums it up…thank you for sharing the deep desires so honestly.
How did I miss this one? Very powerful, David. This has nothing to do with wanting what we want, from my perspective anyway. I’m not sure where that comes from.
Desiring to be free of earthly entrapments like human creed, human doctrine, human group-think and human power is not always a sign of selfishness or depravity. There is a season for everything. Every thing.
Thos is why Jesus (in The Lord’s Prayer) teaches us to pray against ourselves.
steve: what?
David, we can only talk with those who want to. It hurts doesn’t it.
Jesus teaches us to pray against ourselves.
“Thy will be done…”
…not ours.
Steve: why would you take “thy will be done” as not ours? why do you see in a simple request such an anti-human intention?
Jesus was human.
The Pastor’s heart offers “gentle and considerate care” to a paraphrase Seward Hiltner.
The struggle is to continue to be gracious as we seek to lead others to grace.