I hate a pat answer. It accomplishes nothing except satisfaction in the small, unimaginative heart of its giver. I received some pat answers this week and they reminded me of Job’s comforters word for word.
As you grow older you hopefully grow wiser, and you begin to understand from your own honest self-analysis that our problems are greater, more complex and more mysterious than any answer.
We begin to understand that the overwhelming problem, the looming question, exists to expand the dimensions of the our life. We do what we can to accompany the person and show compassion, but we must respect where they are and not bathe them in milk.
Compassion = to suffer with.
If you are going through such a transition in your life, I provide transition support. My rates are fair and sliding. If you want to talk, email me to initiate.
My BOOKS.
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My name is David Hayward, and I am the nakedpastor. I am a graffiti artist on the walls of religion.
Ignorance is bliss ;o)
This and your last Sophia piece about letting go have really spoken to me where I am at right now. Finding and establishing personal boundaries in relationships and being true to myself. Thank you
I’ve really appreciated your work over the past year as I’ve gone through my own transition and found the kind of community that promotes health rather than just covering up the ugly in my life. This post really resonated with something I wrote this past Monday http://restoryinglife.com/finding-answers/
Thanks for being a source of support and encouragement through your work online.
I think their solutions are small because people know other people as a mere audience for their own performance. So the solutions they offer are not for us, but for their own limit envisioning. It is hard to truly listen. And as you hint, if we really did listen, we probably would rarely be able to offer solutions and would instead ‘only’ have compassion to offer – often the greatest gift.
Thanks David,
Compassion = to suffer with. Yes. In my grief how I long for someone willing to do that. God remind me to be that person for someone who is grieving!
Might I add…
Compassion = to laugh and cry with.
Best,
Doug
I was raised by atheists to be atheist. The majority of my friends are atheists. I’ve seen many psychotherapists, the vast majority who were atheist, agnostic, or Buddhist. This diagram describes my interaction with all therapists.
I joined a socially liberal Catholic parish that focusses on social justice activities and prayer for self-searching. I’ve never felt better, though I’ve had to hide this from some people.
I find your story and your web site fascinating.
Thanks ST. Nice to meet you. Welcome.