tribute drawing for Jacob Heynen

A facebook friend of mine ended his life. Jacob Heynen. I have no words. I’ve known and loved many people who have taken their own lives. I have, as a pastor, sat with people who have had to deal with it. I know so many people who try to resist it.

I have no words. So I drew this picture.

It is drawn with pen and ink, graphite pencil and colored pencil on arches art paper. measures 8″x10″ (20cm x 25cm). You can buy the original drawing here, or a print of this here.

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THE COMMENTS DO NOT NECESSARILY REFLECT OR EXPRESS THE OPINION OF THIS BLOG, NAKEDPASTOR, OR THE WRITER, DAVID HAYWARD, BUT ARE SOLELY THE OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE WRITER OF THE COMMENT.

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16 Responses

  1. Bliss Fish says:

    Peace to you and Jacob’s family.

  2. James O'Connor says:

    Nothing to say but “thanks”

  3. <3 to everyone touched by this life.

  4. Lisa Girard says:

    This is completely brilliant David!! Thank you for SHOWING him in his true soul~light! PEACE

  5. Wendy says:

    Thank you, David, for honoring Jacob this way.

  6. Seth says:

    This is truly a sad event. Great work and you’ll be in my thoughts more than usual.

  7. Sarah says:

    I’m sorry David.

  8. Regina says:

    One thing those who have not succeeded have told me is that it was not something they had any control over. They are amazed to find themselves alive and no they had no control over the outcome. For some of them it is a momentary glitch, maybe based on long-term problem, but something they can address, best with help. There are others who ride the wave again and again, and have such fear and hopeless in their heart each time they are released, wondering if the medication will work better this time, or if they will be found in time, or if God loves them. I sit with them as one would with a pregnant woman or a soldier preparing for battle or someone entering chemotherapy, I tell them that I know that God loves them no matter what, that God is with them in love, no matter what, that God is with them in their pain and compulsion and brings a mother’s love, no matter what. That God hold them in love, desires them to live, knows just how crazy and complex this world is, and will always hold them in love, no matter what.

    Part of the insidiousness of compulsion is that the more one tries to resist, the more one is focused on resisting, the more ensnared in focusing on the compulsion. A trap. The only way out is to focus on something else, an impossible task for someone with a compulsive disorder. Taking away some of the anxiety, by focusing on God’s love, can help. Right now the important thing to remember is that God loves you, David, and your dear friend, no matter what.

  9. merle says:

    My heart goes out to all who have been touched by this. I was 3 when my father choose this way out, I’m not sure this pain ever goes away. I am 54 years removed and it still hurts sometimes. Gods speed.

  10. Dale Lubberts says:

    So sorry David, our thoughts and prayers are with you. I understand your pain as my elder brother took his own life on Feb 1, 2011.

  11. Doug Sloan says:

    May all who are mourning be surrounded by the loving and comforting presence of God.

  12. Carrie Atterberry says:

    Thank you for sharing this. Two weeks ago to the date, one of my close friend’s fiancee died in what appears to everyone but his immediate family (who I think is in denial) a suicide overdose. He had paranoid schizophrenia andd had been off his antipsychotics for several weeks. Myself, I have also tried to kill myself via overdose several times and ironically had been suicidal a good portion of last month. Lucky for me, I have an incredible mental health support system. When I heard about my friend’s fiancee, I vowed to myself that I would never entertain the idea of suicide ever again.

  13. Lydia says:

    Stunning, David. So, so sorry.

  14. Jay says:

    Great tribute David.

  15. Hugh says:

    Regina, I think you hit the nail on the head. When I tried (and failed – in case you didn’t notice) it seemed the most natural thing to do. When the ambulance paramedic told me it wasn’t a normal thing to do I was about to argue with her when my wife said something that stopped me – “I want this sorted out once and for all.” I went into a psychiatric hospital for a short period and may well spend the rest of my life on antidepressants and off alcohol but at least I got the help I needed.

  16. nakedpastor says:

    hey hugh… thanks for being so honest and vulnerable about your story here. i can’t tell you how much that means to me. i appreciate it.

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