Inclusive and Excluded

Written on May 6, 2011 in thought

I got this Facebook message yesterday from one of my readers:

Just ordered your book (see links below). I have been cracking up over the lack of “likes” on my links to your blog and cartoons. It is a testament to how many of my friends and family don’t get where I’m at, but love me anyway… Been unfriended already by the rest. Consider myself in good company. Thanks for sharing the insights you’ve gained along the way.

This is not an unusual email. I get these all the time from people who lose friends for friending the nakedpastor, and who are perplexed that their friends and family don’t appreciate my cartoons in the same way they do. Guilty by association.

We gravitate towards that which we agree with and drift away from that which we don’t. I also often get complaints from people who call my readers my “choir“, and that those with a more conservative viewpoint will get attacked if they express their opinion on my blog. Most blogs attract like-minded readers. Those who express their disagreement more than once or twice are labelled trolls.

Even though I have my own point of view, what I have always desired and hopefully worked for is unity in diversity. But it seems to me that the more diversity I endeavor to embrace the more excluded I become. It happened in the church and it happens on my blog. Whenever I talk about our unity with all others, someone has to correct me by pointing out that their particular idea of Jesus demands a special and exclusive understanding that attracts a certain kind of believer and disciple. Still, my most vociferously challenged posts are those where I raise my voice for wider inclusion. My z-theory, which endeavors to articulate a more unified theory of spirituality, is especially repugnant to many. It stirred up enough controversy while I was in the church that my superiors, having received heretic-hunters’ letters, felt it necessary to call me on it.

I personally believe the story of Jesus shows how his inclusivity got him killed. The same with Paul’s inclusion of the Gentiles. Down through history the greatest heroes of humanity are those who saw and worked and died for the unity of the whole human race.

So I think I’ll just keep being in this direction.

I already have a book out. For just $9, order “Nakedpastor101: Cartoons by David Hayward“, from amazon.com, amazon.ca, amazon.de.

34 Comments - Leave a comment!

Amy

In my experience, when I let go of the worry of rejection by my peers (or anyone for that matter) is when the revelations from God just started flowing like a river and haven’t stopped. I keep thinking that “to loose your life” means not to worry about others approval. I saw this because my life is in the beginning of the “abundant” stages and I am excited about all of it, even the bad stuff too ( or what I would consider unfavorable situations). The institution teaches that “to loose your life” means to be some kind of slave to that institution or God, but Jesus clearly says “I came so that you many have abundant life!!” I’m soooooo abundant right now
Tiggy

The word is ‘lose’.
http://theoldadam.wordpress.com Steve Martin

I think what really upset those that killed Jesus was his assertion to be God.

So many are ticked off today at that same assertion.

They are looking for more generous and open definitions of who or what God is.
http://www.on-the-other-hand.com Lydia

A question for anyone who wants to answer:

How can we be inclusive of people who have an exclusive worldview for anyone not in their circle?

It’s something I’ve been thinking about lately. Not sure what I’d recommend yet.
http://nakedpastor.com nakedpastor

that’s the problem lydia. well asked.
http://nakedpastor.com nakedpastor

god forbid he be more generous and open.
http://www.lelightclub.com Louise la francofun!

Heck! When I was a pastor I was called to PAOC headquarters to be reprimanded for bringing young people to the cinema to see the Three Amigos!

Now, stop whining and write a book about your Z-Theory already!
http://nakedpastor.com nakedpastor

LOL Louise! Yes indeedee!
http://souldipper.wordpress.com/ Amy @ Soul Dipper

Yeay David. I’ve been connected with you for a couple of years now. It’s a pleasure (and confirmation) to see you survive change, criticism and disengagement.

So we have another great mystery…what is so scary about Unity and inclusion? Mystifies me. It’s okay for people to send terribly racist jokes in the name of humour, but it’s apparently courageous to send a message of inclusion, empathy or compassion.
http://theoldadam.wordpress.com Steve Martin

In our congregation, ALL are welcome. That’s what we are there for!

You don’t have to be a believer, or a Lutheran to sit in our pews and participate in our worship.

We hope that the Word of grace and forgiveness will grab a hold of them. If it happened to me…it can happen to anyone.
http://thepreacherlady.wordpress.com preacherlady

@ Steve…what about communion…are all welcome?
http://www.zazzle.com/atheist_tees The Godless Monster

@Lydia,
You asked:
“How can we be inclusive of people who have an exclusive worldview for anyone not in their circle?”
To some extent, I do it by refusing to recognize the walls that some others are always putting up. There’s a common bond of humanity between us all, no matter how small it may seem at times.
So many folks identify themselves to me as belonging to this group or that, but once they understand that what they are doesn’t matter so much to me as WHO they are, their guard drops and they are more open to meaningful communication.
http://www.christianheresy.blogspot.com Michelle

“The more diversity I endeavor to embrace the more excluded I become.” Oh the irony. (And to a certain extent I’ve had this experience too.)
http://theoldadam.wordpress.com Steve Martin

preacherlady,

All baptized Christians who believe Christ is present in the meal are welcome.

If someone is not baptized, we will baptize them. If they don’t believe Christ is present but yet they come up anyway, we are not going to give them a test…we will give them the Supper.
http://www.beckygarrison.com Becky Garrison

I installed “Unfriend” finder for exactly this reason – I have gone so far as to put your cartoons (and ASBO Jesus) in my latest book. And some of my postings over the past year have been very provocative. I find it helpful to ascertain who is leaving and why.

Just lost another alleged friend this week – and about to lose another one. It sucks when people chase manna and celebrity over genuine friendship. But it happens. More often than it should.
http://nakedpastor.com nakedpastor

i like the way you said that beck
http://thepreacherlady.wordpress.com preacherlady

Steve…that’s good to hear. I’ve been refused communion in a Lutheran church…and I was one of the officiants…because I was not Lutheran.

As for the rest…my Roman Catholic family just considers me fallen away…once a catholic always a catholic…the evangelicals think I’m a heretic…the new thought people think I’m too Jesusy. I still don’t fully express what I believe except in a few places. Most people frown upon mysticism of any kind, even Christian mysticism and as someone told me this week “that whole quantum physics thing is satanic.” I’ve been both friended and unfriended because of my beliefs and have come to the point that if we can’t be friends even tho we differ, so be it.
http://www.beckygarrison.com Becky Garrison

Preacher lady – I agree completely. What’s broken my heart is that the friends I am losing are people where I thought I had this kind of relationship. We were all outsiders satirizing the empire. And I did until manna and celebrity entered into the picture. Then they became that which they once despised. The challenge on my end is to let it go and move on and I’m not wired that way.
http://theoldadam.wordpress.com Steve Martin

preacherlady, Becky,

What a shame. I have SO many friends and family with whom I agree on only a few things. So what…I still like them, or love them.

People…what a bunch of moroons…
http://www.beckygarrison.com Becky Garrison

Two of my closest friends have veered into very conservative theological territory and while it can be difficult, I can be buds with people of varying stripes. But something happens when someone gets a touch of fame and it’s like a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde transformation.
http://www.jasonmarshall.co.uk Jason

Jesus’ message was that of redemption, healing and wholeness for all humanity and all of creation. Doesn’t get more inclusive than that.

It’s our own insecurity, fear and need for control, power and status that makes us draw lines in the sand and stand in judgement over those who don’t do it our way…

Grace doesn’t draw such lines, thank goodness.
http://theoldadam.wordpress.com Steve Martin

Very well said, Jason.

We are the problem. He is the ONLY answer…in the end.
http://rallyingcos.wordpress.com MLE

Being a new comer to this blog, I’ve not read heaps of comments. What I have seen, though, has been rather civil, I think. Or perhaps I’m the newcomer, free of any relational baggage that may have built up among veteran commenters.

Trying to navigate text-only communication, esp. on touchy or difficult topics, trying to listen and understand while wanting to be heard and understood, not to mention our differences in denominational/spiritual/cultural backgrounds–all things considered I think we do alright.
http://rallyingcos.wordpress.com MLE

I do get what’s being said, though. I grew up in a family that could be considered part of the conservative (ugh, these labels are so unhelpful) fringe of a denomination that’s fairly progressive.

Into my early 20s, I was put off by the hypocrisy of those with whom I came into contact, especially when I attended the university this denomination sponsors, who said they embraced diversity, but who routinely excluded, neglected the needs of, and generally didn’t want to engage those of us who were a bit more what we would call ‘traditionalists.’ “We embrace diversity, except the conservatives,” we wryly joked.

My beliefs and perspectives have changed (as always–don’t get me wrong, I think that’s a good thing). I am now too ‘liberal’ for my family. (My mother recently cringed upon learning that I believe God has both male and female traits and so ‘he’ and ‘she’ are equally inadequate terms, but help us in speaking of God in a more relational way.)

I’ve grown the most from interactions with the people who met me where I was; respectfully, not condescendingly. Gentle people. People who’ve moved me more by their actions than by loudly stating their point over an over. People who spoke peace and worked for justice.

Nowadays, I’m generally not thought of as a ‘conservative,’ but I still genuinely feel for those who are. I know what trying to engage in meaningful dialog with a ‘liberal’ majority can feel like. Interestingly, I’m often too radical for the ‘progressives’ now.

It takes patience from all sides and perspectives. It’s much easier and I think more important to remember that you’re talking with (not at) a person–with whom you likely share many values–and not with a label, denominational or otherwise.
http://nakedpastor.com nakedpastor

well said MLE. really. i think you are right. usually we’re pretty civil. often I am impressed.
A Different Michelle

I’ve only recently discovered your cartoons and this blog, and I’m so glad that I have. I’m a liberal Christian, come to Christ in my thirties, and still a skeptic and a doubter. I had a brief immersion experience with exclusionary (women can’t do this, or that, or this other thing over there, and “homosexuals” are…let’s not even talk about *them*) religion.

I’ve noticed a preoccupation that some of the Christians around me have with ensuring they exclude certain people. But there is little concern about…the question is almost never asked…”What if we should be including some of these people whom we are excluding?” I thought Christ was the one who makes sure the church is holy, so it seems that Christians should err (if erring it is) on the side of *inclusivity*.
http://nakedpastor.com nakedpastor

hey different michelle. nice to hear from you. glad you found me. i like your point.
http://www.lelightclub.com Louise la francofun!

I’ve been thinking about the Judas story recently. He was a believer who thought Jesus was not all that He should be. He reminds me of the way some well-meaning bothers have behaved toward me. They eat at your table, smile and nod but in their hearts all the while they are evaluating your every word and move until they can prove their suspicions right and then betray you. Of course, you see it coming, but as a true disciple of Christ you let them kiss you good-bye knowing full well what they think. It takes a lot more grace to put up with religious hypocrisy than with prostitutes, drunkards or atheists. Yet, we need to love the zealots because they know not what they do and when they do, they usually become suicidal. Thus the strong are weak and the weak are strong.
A Different Michelle

The challenge is to not exclude people in practice. I believe the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) was going through some of these pains a few years ago (I’m not affiliated with them but visited one of their churches for a while). The denomination is one of a few (three?) accidental denominations, originating from a group of folks from various denominations who came together around the idea that they were all Christ-focused (essentially), so why couldn’t they all get along? I think the split was between those who considered themselves more conservative and those who considered themselves more liberal, with the more liberal members ending up with the denomination.

If the issue in question in a church were drinking alcohol vs. not drinking alcohol, well, most of us don’t drink recreationally during church services, anyway. There may be some dispute to work through about communion, but that should not be insurmountable. But if the congregation is made up of folks with differing views about who should be permitted to serve the church in various ways, well then you’ve got a mess.

Folks who think only men should be allowed to preach might not be willing to attend when a female pastor preached. And those who support women in the pastorate might not be willing to attend a church that was willing to have only men preach (as the regular preacher or even just filling in). Both groups might have issues with those who argue that sexual orientation should not be a basis for exclusion from the clergy.

So though my ideal church would permit questioning, *real* questioning that leads to conversations, discussions and inquiry, rather than pat answers–include teachers of all sexes (female, male, intersex) and of all gender expressions and sexual orientations, it would by definition exclude a bunch of people.

Inclusivity in the same building, at the same time seems well nigh impossible. Add to that that usually we are interested in influencing each other, based on what we believe to be the best (flawed, of course, but the best we have) understanding of what it is to lead a Christian life.

So what should we do?
http://nakedpastor.com nakedpastor

a different michelle: i have to believe it is possible. i do believe it. i have experienced it in moments. it is wonderful.
http://rallyingcos.wordpress.com MLE

Louise la francofun!: “I’ve been thinking about the Judas story recently….Thus the strong are weak and the weak are strong.”

So true and well said.
Jane Smith

Dear nakedpastor

You can tell anybody who accuses you of having a following of only like-minded people that one of the people who looks at your cartoons regularly is a conservative Anglo-Catholic, truly one of the “old school”.

Your cartoons and your blog are doing a great deal of good, no matter where we are on the Christian spectrum.
A Different Michelle

naked pastor: Was the moment outside of a church building? That, yes, I can see where that might be possible. If we’re coming together for a common cause other than what we normally refer to as “worship” (NOT to say that whatever work we would be doing wouldn’t be worship– it’s likely that it would be), I could see that. But I don’t know the context of your moment.

Hmmmm. Why do I wish we could all join together in one building, when I don’t even think that that particular behavior is really the point of following Christ?
http://www.lelightclub.com Louise la francofun!

Thanks MLE!