Since some people take a superficial reading of what I do on this blog and conclude I hate the church, I thought I would write a short post on the many things I am thankful to the church for:
- Even though I’ve made countless enemies, and continue to do so, I have made some very good life-long friends.
- Even though the system’s gravitational pull is towards the dehumanization of its members, I have seen moments of heroic advocacy on behalf of its members.
- Even though I have shed oceans of bitter and painful tears because of the church, my happiest moments were also within her embrace.
- Even though the church can display a shocking level of greed, I have witnessed the church display incredible generosity.
- Even though my personal experience with pastoral oversight has been extremely abusive and consistently disappointing, I have seen a few genuine pastors at work.
- Even though the box the church has pressured me to think within has gotten predictably smaller, I’ve also enjoyed profound intellectual stimulation from certain theologians and ex-cathedra philosophers read by such theologians.
- Even though my children find it impossible to find a church home or even find the thought of looking for one repugnant, I am thankful that the church obviously helped shape their depth of character.
- Even though I found the church’s idea of spirituality extremely constrictive and it’s view of the Other restrictive, it was also within the church that my curiosity of these matters was aroused.
- Even though I find the church can be the perfect culture for division, animosity, competition, deceit, alienation and discord, I have also experienced it to be a powerful vehicle for the realization, manifestation and application of unity.
- Even though I discovered that the weekly meetings were a prime place for schismatic people to sow their seeds of divisiveness, it was also the perfect place for people who cared about fellowship and community to exercise their love and network with their neighbors in constructive ways.
These are just some of the reasons I love the church.

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My name is David Hayward, and I am the nakedpastor. I am a graffiti artist on the walls of religion.







sounds like Facebook.
That about sums up my feelings.
Wow…
I still love the church in a strange way – I think you’ve explained some of my own reasons for loving her.
Alas, I still must kick against these pricks.
I have to echo a lot of this too. Even though the church has been a huge source of disappointment to me, it has also been a huge source of hope, freedom and love. Maybe I’m a romantic, but I feel like there is still a lot of hope for the church and the main reason I do the specific academic work I do is because I want to do my part to see the church do better.
Since I’m one of those people who might have been mistaken, I’m glad for this, but still not sure I’m on the same page. Though goodness knows, I could write “seen that” by every item on your list. But I’m left puzzled. These are the sounds of dis-illusionment, and I wonder why you ever thought the church would be anything different than this. Its the church you want to get past — it is lousy theology about the church I’d like to jettison. Everything that tries to tell us it is not what it is — full of these shenanigans.
In some funny sense, I don’t know how I could give up on the church without giving up on myself. Who was it who said, “there is no better proof for the grace of God than the continued existence of the church.”
So maybe my attempts to say, “see, there are good people, earnest people there too” were misguided. You knew that. Maybe what I should have said is that we have 66 books (an entire Bible) to remind us that all you’ve written above — has been ever with us. There never was a moment or a place where the good and the bad didn’t grow up together.
So its is our ecclesiology that’s the problem, I’d say.
My kids are younger — I’m gonna try to tell them to avoid the worst places — and find someplace — not that’s perfect– but where you hear the truth about yourself and God more often than not. In that place you’ll hopefully find people who’ll visit you in the hospital when you’re there, give you good books to read, watch some games at the local bar with you, maybe volunteer beside you somewhere, or take your kids to Sunday school when you aren’t up for it. Because that’s as good as it will ever get. And I’ll tell them to be prepared — that just as it around their own household — people they love and admire will shock them, and people who love them will hurt them and let them down — sometimes shockingly so. And the very best we can do — is try to be honest about that. Like the Bible (mostly) does.
While the souls within churches are beautiful beyond measure, the system seems to generally suck the life out of people. This doesn’t pertain to everyone that attends church – it’s just a general observation from my own experience.
Somehow, the institution also seems to be a breeding ground for corruption. And I think that trying to live by or find life through religious rituals and the laws of God naturally results in this corruption, such as hypocrisy. Fortunately, not everyone who attends church is trying to live by the religious law (and you can find hypocrisy anywhere) but I would say that it does mostly define the institutional Christian system.
How much would I really care if I didn’t care about the negative effects I think churches have on people as well as society? Still, I think we are free to hold our own beliefs, whether we are brainwashed on a weekly basis or not. And the freedom of religion for others is vital to my own freedom from religion. So it’s all good.
Problem is, much of what we call church isn’t.
the greatest thing about “church” is the coming together of nonbelievers and new believers that never would draw near to God if it wasn’t for the sad gathering we call Church. Once we grow and change and our eyes are opened each of us looks upon it in a different light. We just shouldn’t forget where we came from or that we are all in different stages of growth and spiritual development – and that most churches offer at least Something that is better than Nothing.
I’d hate to summarize anything as beautiful as what you’ve written by throwing out cliches like true church vs. false church, or buildings vs. community of faith, so I’ll just say this. There is a lot of junk out there and I’m glad you remember the beautiful moments where Christ’s love touched you in the genuine moments of the bride he created.
That’s what keeps me going on my darkest days.
Just got through reading the Song of Solomon. Seems like God loves the Church, as She is, without all the trappings that She is “supposed” to wear. I guess if the Church would just stay naked we wouldn’t be in this dilemma. A naked church and a naked pastor…. that’s what I’m talking about!
It’s amazing to me that you can counter all the negative with the positive.. I’ve not been able to do. While much of my anger toward a prior negative experience has waned (since I started over with a new church 7 years ago), the negative experience continues to eat away at me. I think it’s one thing to be able to say “I’ve seen that at my church,” but it’s easier for me to understand your points because I’ve actually “experienced” most of them.
Whatever it is that has been described – it is not church. Closed social institionalism?
If it is not about the spritual growth and strengthening of the individual and if it is not about freeing the individual from authoritarianism and institutionalism and empire and systemic injustice, then it is not church.
The initial success of the Good News was in how it demonstrated that anyone – even someone oppressed into complete oblivion by an empire – could live a resurrected and transformed life even in a world where death, cruelty, corruption, crime, war, systemic injustice, slavery, and extreme poverty were so rampant as to be the norm. Their success in living a resurrected and transformed life even in such a world is completely relevant to our time and for all time. The Good News is that a life of resurrection and transformation does not have to be preceded by death. The Good News is that the kingdom of God is not a future event or a distant place or a strictly post-mortal existence. An “anticipated” kingdom of God is meaningless and useless. The Good News is that the kingdom of God has arrived, it is here and it is now and it is available to anyone – without exception and without qualification and without sacrifice.
To have a loving intimate relationship with God; to serve others by practicing generosity and hospitality; to seek justice, mercy, healing, reconciliation, rehabilitation, inclusion, and participation; and then to live non-violently without vengeance and with a cheerful fearlessness of death and worldly powers – that is the radical and the defiant message and the transformational spirit of the universal and timeless Good News.
Whatever we do –
Whatever we are –
Wherever we are –
–can never separate us from the love and grace and the surrounding and inviting and welcoming and inclusive presence of God.
Having planted a church 10 years ago – which was institutional even though we thought it wasn’t – my wife & I have reflected much on “what Gospel were we preaching?”
We saw lives changed, but also activity without transformation: prayer meetings, deacons meetings, elders meetings, home groups, “double Sundays” … often without a thought or mention, and certainly not an experience, of the presence of God.
Sunday activity (worship, prayer, reading scripture) that never occurs in the live of an individual until the next Sunday, is religion.
4 years ago, we made some dramatic changes in the search for authentic friendship (with Jesus and each other) and reality. 75% of the church walked out the door, never to return. A large contribution to the exodus was that we couldn’t find a mentor to walk us through the transformation.
Perhaps some of us can become that mentor to the masses who are stuck in religion and don’t know how to get out.
I was fully paid by the church. My identity was in the Sunday attendance, the growth in Home Group attendance, the programs we had running. Now I am a businessman who gathers with friends, at least on Sunday, to encourage each other and worship together.
We still love the church. Our kids (14, 11 and 6yrs) all love the church. We have been hurt most by church-leavers, but healed (most times, instantly) by Jesus, as He encouraged us with His rejections.
We see a church that functions in reality, is not freaked out by the word “leader”, isn’t driven by an anti-institutional cause, but simply loves Jesus and changes the world around Her by being the Bride.
We will plant again because the church is designed to be all the positive things that you have all mentioned.
But I won’t ever draw a salary – we’ll continue to work day and night because that is what every non-paid deacon and elder has done for years! I’ll still speak the truth in love – not fearing losing numbers or income. We’ll continue have friends in the church – not keeping everyone at an arms-length because we were their “Pastor”. We’ll be able to care for the poor because we don’t have to “spend thousands to showcase our Sunday meeting”.
We live to lower the bar of doing church and raising the bar of discipleship.